#hey did you know that dog REALLY masks the taste of alcohol

[tf2-hellhole]

hello! I hope this hasn't been requested before but, can you write some lovesick headcanons for the mercs? i'm talking totally head over heels, just absolutely immobilized by their feelings type of lovesick. How would they handle themselves? thank you so much ><

Sorry I wrote a whole essay lmao. I assumed that the the reader and the merc are already together in this. Also sorry, I didn’t really know how to write lovesick mercs so this kinda just ended up being how their behaviors change once they become lovesick.

Scout:

Is always trying so, so hard to impress you. He always shows off when you’re around; if he’s on the battlefield, he’ll say “Hey toots, watch this!” And will show off his speed or his aim. He’ll always come back and be all, “Damn, it must be amazing having an awesome boyfriend.���

He’s always bringing you food. When he buys food, he’ll offer to share it with you. If you say no, he’ll just shrug and say “Your loss.” He never, ever shares his food with anyone other than who he’s interested in, so as silly as it sounds, sharing his food with you shows he loves you.

He can be a little clingy sometimes, but he tries to cover it up, especially around the other mercs. He always has to come greet you if you show up after being away for more than an hour, usually with an arm slung over your shoulders and sometimes a quick smooch.

He’s always flustered by you giving him affection. Even something like holding his hand or giving him a quick peck on the cheek makes him turn bright red. In private, he’s always trying to get affection from you, and he can’t live without it. He’s always trying to hug, spoon, or cuddle you, every chance he gets.

He becomes a little more protective of you. In public, he’s always ready to tell someone to go screw themselves if they get friendly with you. He won’t hesitate to punch anyone who touches you.

The reason he loves you so much is because you treat him correctly. All of his relationships in the past have been purely sexual, even if he did want a real relationship with the girl. He can’t believe he has someone who loves him and takes care of him and doesn’t demand sex or complain all of the time. Sometimes, he asks himself how he scored someone as amazing as you.

Soldier:

He becomes very protective of you, though he’s not at all restrictive. He allows you to go anywhere or do anything you want and fully trusts you, but he’ll always ask if you’d like him to come with you for protection if he isn’t already coming with you and offers you weapons to defend yourself with.

You’re one of the only people who are allowed to touch his raccoons, the others being Demo and Engie. He doesn’t trust most people with his raccoons believing they’ll try to take or eat his pets, but he completely trusts you with them. He’ll often ask if you’d like to hold or feed one. Surprisingly, the raccoons are completely docile around you and act like weird, mute dogs. The raccoons hate everyone else, including Soldier. Highkey cries when he sees how well his raccoons behave with you.

He trusts you to know that he was never actually in the military. When he tells you, you know he trusts you more than anyone on the planet and he’s at the point where he would absolutely take bullets for you without any hesitation.

You’re the only person who can get him to behave. Usually, he won’t listen to anyone except Ms. Pauling, and even for her, he won’t do anything he doesn’t like unless he absolutely has to. But for you, he’d do anything without hesitation. That doesn’t mean he won’t voice his opinions if he doesn’t like what you’re telling him to do.

The reason he loves you so much is that you accept his strange behaviors. Most people are rude to him and often make fun of him, even to his face. But you treat him normally, while accommodating his eccentricities. Even though he won’t say it, he appreciates that you respect his strange interests and behaviors and still love him.

Pyro:

Pyro wants to spend tons of time with you. They want to show you their newest crafts and creations and do all sorts of fun things together. It gets to the point that they can be a little clingy, but if you explain how you feel about it, they’ll quickly back off with no hard feelings.

You get lots of hugs, cuddles, and nuzzles. Pyro loves to receive and give physical affection, so it’s often how they show how much they love you. Quick hugs and nuzzles are often how Pyro greets you, often accompanied with tons of giggling. They also love to cuddle with you when the two of you have any free time.

Whenever Pyro makes any treats (they love baking and making candy), you’re always the first person who gets to taste it. The first few times they tasted horrendous, but after a little while Pyro got really good at making it. Scout always tries to get the first taste, but Pyro is always there to slap his hand away and scold him, even when he sneaks into the kitchen.

Pyro gives you tons and tons of gifts. They’re often drawings of you two together, and the aforementioned sweets. Though of course, due to their hallucinations, gifts sometimes are something freaky like an arm. But most of the time, they’re very sweet gifts accompanied with a quick hug or kiss if their mask is off.

The reason they love you so deeply is the same reason Soldier loves his S/O; because you treat Pyro as normal, while taking care of all of Pyro’s eccentricities and problems. You don’t treat Pyro like they’re just a scary maniac, you treat them like a person. But, you also don’t discourage Pyro’s stranger behaviors. You just accept them just how they are and they deeply appreciate that.

Demo:

He’s a very physically affectionate man, so hugs and kisses are a regular thing, especially as a greeting, but he’s never clingy or physically demanding. He loves to kiss your cheeks or temples or put a arm around your waist, but most of the time he just holds your hand. If he’s been away from you for more than a day, he always excitedly greets you by wrapping you in a bear hug and giving you a big kiss.

He looooooves going to new places or adventuring with you. He’d love to take you back to Scotland and show you his favorite places and some national events, but he’d equally love to go to where you’re from, even if the place you’re from is near or in Scotland. If your culture means a lot to you, he’d love for you to tell him about it, and he could listen to you for hours. He’s mentally taking notes of your favorite parts of the culture, such as events or food, so he can do something for you.

You discover that he’s actually a very supportive person and an excellent listener. If you ever need to rant about something making you upset, he’ll pull you onto his lap and ask you to tell him about it. He’s actually pretty good at giving you advice.

The reason you mean so much to him is because you’re his rock. He’s a man who’s always had to deal with his demons by himself. However, he was too weak to fight them, which is why he turned to alcohol. But you supported him, spoke to him about his problems, and encouraged him. You were able to make him feel better about his mistakes and his appearance. You’re even the reason he cuts back on drinking (he doesn’t stop, but he’s no longer drunk 100% of the time). The fact that you care about his emotions and well-being when no one else did always gets him a little emotional.

Heavy:

Even though he obviously doesn’t see you as a sibling, he can’t help but activate his protective big bro instinct. He always discourages you from doing anything risky or dangerous, and will focus a lot more on protecting you, especially if you’re a fellow merc. He prefers for you at least to be in the same room as him so he can watch over you. But he still respects your independence and doesn’t tell you not to go somewhere unless he’s 100% convinced there’s a real danger.

Every once in a while, he likes to make food from his homeland/childhood, though he shares it with nobody, not even Medic unless he’s in a really good mood. But he always asks you to taste his latest meal. It’s not often you see him so happy, but he loves sharing something that means so much to him with you. He’s beaming if you completely clear your plate or bowl.

You are the only other person allowed to touch his guns. You were actually surprised by this. You aren’t allowed to USE his guns, but he doesn’t have a problem with you touching them. He makes sure to watch carefully when you do, though, so you don’t damage it accidentally.

He loves you so much because of the emotional intimacy and trust you share. Trust is something he values deeply, and he doesn’t give his trust easily. But you were kind and honest and obviously trusted him, so he began to trust you. Once you two started dating, he opened up more about all the horrible things he’s been through, and instead of being disgusted by his actions, you said you were sorry he’s suffered so much. The fact that the world, which he always knew was cold and unforgiving, had produced someone so forgiving and kind like you, always has and always will baffle him.

Engie:

He loves to take you on cute domestic dates. This was already the case when you two were still only dating, but he amped it up once he really fell in love. He’ll spend more time away from the lab so he can spend more time with you. He loves little dates like cuddling up with a movie, making dinner together, or going into a nicer town for a walk in the park. He especially loves to bring you little gifts for a date, which usually is something sweet, cute, and simple like a bouquet, even if you’re super masculine.

You’re the only person other than Medic that he trusts around his sentries or his lab. Of course, he doesn’t allow you to work on them, even if you’re also an engineer, as he doesn’t want the sentry to be damaged or you to get hurt. But if you promise to be careful, you’ll be allowed in while he’s there with you.

When you two were only dating, he had a couple little nicknames for you, like Sweetheart. But now he lays on as many as he can think of, and of course they all sound amazing in his cute accent. He loves to use nicknames like Sugar, Honeybee, Darlin’, Baby, and Cutie/Handsome/Gorgeous, and that’s only a fraction of the nicknames he uses for you. He doesn’t hesitate to use them in front of others, too.

Engie doesn’t love you for any particularly deep or significant reason; he just loves your personality, your mannerisms, and your beliefs. He’s a man who lives for the domestic part of a relationship, so he tends to feel hopelessly in love when you two spend time together like he’s a normal man, not a full-time mercenary. He just loves having you in his life, and with the life he lives he’s honestly surprised he was able to find himself with someone like you, even if you’re a fellow merc.

Medic:

He surprises you with how much he cares about you and your feelings. To everyone else, he’s a very selfish person who only cares about himself and his experiments. And while he was a little more considerate of you when you were only dating, you still acknowledged this in your mind. But after he fell in love, he’s always asking you how you are and cares deeply about how you are feeling, physically and mentally. It honestly really surprised you.

You are the only other person on the whole planet who is allowed to pet Archimedes; he deems you worthy and competent enough. He loves showing his birds to you and having you help him care for them, though he does get a little jealous if his birds steal your attention away from him.

Medic is an attention-seeking baby and loves when you spend time with him or do things with him, but he usually isn’t very demanding unless he’s really stressed and needs comfort. He likes to pull you away to talk to you or ask you to relax with him, and he tends to pout if you say you can’t.

Medic loves you so much because you embrace his eccentricities. He loves that he can do whatever he wants and you don’t care as long as he’s not putting himself in danger (though he sometimes does intentionally, as he loves to be fussed over/given attention). You encourage him and appreciate his enthusiasm, even if you’re grossed out by his unique occupation. But he really loves that you love him despite how weird he can be. He can sit with you and tell you about his latest experiment or talk with Archimedes and you’ll just watch or listen like he’s completely normal. He loves not being treated like he’s nuts or creepy.

Sniper:

He starts to really open up about the impact all of the bad events in his life has put on him. He’ll ask if you’re comfortable with him sharing about it, and if you say yes, he’ll sit you down and tell you about everything he’s been through. A lot of bottled up emotion comes out and he needs a lot of hugging, cuddling, kind words, and kisses. Once he opens up about this, you know that this man would trust you with his life without question.

He becomes a little needy when it comes to physical affection. It doesn’t show in public, so it’s not annoying, but has to be touching you most of the time when you’re alone with him. He loves hugging you from behind and burying his face in your neck, or pulling you onto his lap to press a deep kiss to your lips, but he also lives for all of the smaller touches, like handholding or pecks on the cheek. He’s always been touch-starved, so having you to cuddle close to whenever he needs touch is amazing for him. You’re like a security blanket for him sometimes.

He’ll want to take you out to explore with him. He already did when you two were just dating, but now he wants to show you the places he really loves or mean a lot to him, like places his parents took him. He’ll spend a little while telling you about the things he did with his parents, but he spends most of the time trying to create new memories with you.

Sniper cares so deeply about you because you treat him with kindness. This man has had such a harsh, pain-filled life that he was certain he’d never by truly happy. Just like Heavy, he thought the world was cruel and cold, so he was surprised to find a person who so genuinely cared about him and wanted to make him happy. He’s so grateful to have someone so good in his life, and he’d do anything for you.

Spy:

He starts to like your more personal, domestic moments together. When you two were only dating, he preferred extravagant and expensive dates, as he was trying to impress you. But he started to realize he loved when you’d just spend time together like a normal couple, like cuddling up with a movie or making food together. It allowed him to relax and focus more on sharing an intimate moment with you rather than impressing you. It let him be more himself rather than the fake personality he’s created, and it makes him realize how exhausted he is with acting this way. Any moment when he can chill, be himself, and spend time with you is always his favorite moment of the day.

As weird as it sounds, his compliments change. At first his compliments are exactly what you’d expect from a Casanova like him. Very smooth but expected compliments about how lovely you look, often accompanied with a kiss on the hand. But once he’s truly in love with you, his compliments are much more heartfelt. He compliments all the things he truly loves about you, like maybe the colors of your eyes or the feeling of your hair. They always come with a warm smile rather than a confident smirk, and often a kiss on the cheek or forehead too. He always looks at you like you’re the most beautiful and amazing thing in the world.

It takes a lot to get Spy to be head over heels. But, it can be done if he begins to trust you and you show him you completely trust him with personal stuff like your origin or your feelings. It’s that mutual trust (or at least the beginning of it) that makes him fall in love with you, and actually completely and fully trust you. After that, he’d be willing to give up his identity, his reputation, or even his life for you.

[boygirlmeetsworld]

Messy.

ONE-SHOT

Word count: 2793

Disclaimer:  One piece and all it’s characters belong to Eiichiro Oda, I just like to write about them.

Warning: None

Rating: T (i guess?? there’s cursing)

Author’s Note: Whale, this is the first fanfic I’ve posted on the interwebs since high school so please keep that in mind, lol. I do plan to finish it sooner than later so check back in a few days if you want to read the rest, sorry I don’t have it all done right now.  At long last it it FINISHED.

Feel free to tell me what u think! Unless it’s mean, then I ask that u keep those thoughts in ur noggin because I’m just writing these for fun not for grades.

Without further ado, here ya go.

Author’s Note pt 2: So i didn’t end up going the smut route like I originally planned, but I think it worked out better bc this one got nice and Emotional.

Summary: Zoro really shouldn’t agree to be Nami’s drinking partner if he wanted to keep their friendship from getting... Complicated.

__________________________________________

The moon was floating high in the night sky when Nami wandered onto the deck, unable to sleep even after a few hours of sketching. 

She wanted company – specifically, she wanted the company of the crew’s resident alcoholic. It only took a few minutes to find him on the lawn deck with his back against a tree and his eye closed. ‘How typical.’

Nami smiled a small, excited smile as she strode over to him and squatted between his parted legs. An unconscious sigh left her nose as she swept her gaze up and down his face. She caught herself thinking, ‘He really is easy on the eyes isn’t he.’ ....again. 

Who was she kidding? She’d been thinking the same thing every time she looked his way lately. 

Two years ago she’d been able to keep the immature crush she had on him locked tightly away but somehow - it had gotten out and was slowly consuming her entire being. 

Nami hoped he hadn’t noticed how often she invited him to drink with her because she didn’t think she could handle being rejected. So she settled for spending time alone with him whenever and however she could. 

“Hey, moss-head,” the navigator said finally, leaning in to squint at him, “Are you asleep?”

He had literally just settled down for a nice cat nap when the navigator appeared suddenly to interrupt him. ‘Damn. What the hell did she want now?’ 

Instead of answering, Zoro chose to ignore her and pretend like he was deep asleep. ‘Why won’t she go bother someone else?’

Nami started prodding his cheek with one finger to rouse him if he really was sleeping, ”Zorooo wake up, I wanna drink,” she whined and his eyelid opened instantly.

‘Why’s she so damn pretty..’ was the first thought he had when he realized that she was a lot closer than he’d anticipated. 

He mentally chastised himself after, trying to remind his id that Nami had never once indicated that she wanted to be anything other than friends and he should respect that. 

But… There was no harm in looking from time to time was there? And she was pretty. She’d always been... ‘Oh for fuck’s sake, now he sounded like Sanji. He needed to get a grip.’

“Helloooooo,” Nami waved her hand in Zoro’s face until he snapped back to reality and snatched her wrist up, pulling it away. He scowled but it wasn’t deep, and now he was refusing to look her in the eye. “What was that about, huh Zoro?”

“Nothing.” The swordsman replied perhaps a little too quickly to avoid suspicion, “Thought I heard a noise, doesn’t matter – oi, didn’t you want to do something?” 

He couldn’t remember what exactly it was. He’d been so distracted by the way her bangs framed her face and sometimes got caught in her eyelashes—’Damnit! He was doing it again.’

Nami smirked again but didn’t press the subject anymore. She’d do that later once they started drinking. “Weren’t you listening to me? You’re so rude, maybe I should find someone else to share my booze with.”

Was it a good idea to go drink with Nami when he kept catching himself thinking about feelings that he’d been suppressing for the last two years? Probably not…

But he couldn’t just decline an opportunity to get buzzed. ‘And... Maybe he wanted to get buzzed with Nami, specifically.’  

Zoro scoffed, mostly at himself. “Quit playing games, damnit, do you want me to drink with you or not?”

“You’re so stubborn,” The navigator teased with a pleased smile that made his heart beat unevenly, “I could care less if you join me, but you’re not allowed to come unless you say you’ll be nice.”

“Nami. I am older than you, quit treating me like a fucking child or I swear-”

“That’s no way to talk to a lady who’s getting you drunk for free, Roronoa Zoro. If you can’t be nice then I’ll just add the cost of everything you drink to your debt and-”

Zoro didn’t have time to ruminate over the way hearing her say his full name made him shiver because he had to shut her up before she did charge him. 

“Okay, okay. I’ll be... nice.” He hissed through gritted teeth and her answering giggle made his pulse flutter. He had to fight to keep himself from smiling. ‘What the hell was going on with him tonight? Was he sick?’

“Good boy,” she turned and started walking towards the Sunny’s aquarium bar, glancing back over her shoulder to make sure he was coming.

“Don’t push your luck, woman.” Zoro snarled to mask his confusion over the sudden need to touch her that he felt scratching at the back of his head. He really shouldn’t agree to be Nami’s drinking partner if he wanted to keep their friendship from getting... Complicated.

He knew it, but he followed her up the stairs all the same.

                                                       * * *

“Why d’you always want to drink with me anyway, witch?” Skeptical of her intentions, his narrowed eye fixed itself on Nami as she approached him holding two maroon tinted bottles. She offered one to him and he accepted it – but he didn’t let his guard down yet.

Zoro lowered his gaze to check the label out, whistling long and low when he read 23% alcohol per volume. A couple puzzle pieces clicked together in his head ‘Oh, that’s why. Because if she tried to drink this with anyone else they’d pass out after two glasses.’

“Would you believe that I just like hanging out with you?” Though her tone was teasing she was actually being genuine, she had a lot of fun with him whenever they went out.

“No–“ He paused when Nami kicked him in the shin hard enough to make him swear. Reaching down with his free hand he rubbed the sore patch of skin and glared daggers at his crewmate. “What the fuck was that for?!”

“You said you’d be nice, Zoro! So be nice or I’ll charge you a hundred thousand beris for that bottle.” Nami uncorked hers but waited to hand the corkscrew over until he behaved himself. The look he was giving her would probably frighten a small child but she didn’t flinch.

‘This was his choice.’ He reminded himself. Of his own free will he chose to get drunk with Nami instead of napping, and that meant dealing with her bossiness no matter how much he loathed it. ‘Sometimes he just wanted to grab her by the shoulders and make her shut up, there were better things her mouth could be doing anyway-‘

“Why do you keep staring at me like that, do I have a zit or something?”

Zoro sat up so fast that he banged his shoulder on the underside of the countertop. ‘What the hell was that? What the hell was wrong with him?’ He hadn’t even opened the damn bottle and he was already making himself look like an idiot.

“No,” the swordsman grumbled, wracking his brain for a believable excuse, “Just thinking about how I’ll owe you money even after I’m dead if you keep charging me for bullshit.” That made her laugh and Zoro cursed himself for how much he liked hearing it. “Don’t see how it’s funny for me, witch.”

Nami let him take the corkscrew from her, eyes crinkled with amusement while he opened his bottle. “You’ll just have to stay alive until you pay me back in full, I guess!” She trilled before taking a long, heavy drink from hers.

“Yeah?” Zoro snorted before mimicking her and downing about half of the wine in the container. It tasted disgusting, which he’d expected, but that didn’t make the bitter aftertaste any less miserable. His nose wrinkled slightly as he set the bottle down. “I bet even if I did try to pay you off you’d find a way to charge me more.”

“You make me sound so heartless,” the navigator batted her eyelashes innocently, pretending to look hurt, “Why would I ever do such a thing?”

“Hah.” He scoffed before chugging some more wine and failing to keep track of how much he was drinking each time. “Because you want to keep me on a leash since I don’t throw myself at you like that dumbass cook.”

An impish smirk crawled it’s way onto Nami’s face that made him immediately regret what he’d just said. ‘Fuck. Damnit!’

“So…” She began slowly, savoring every second that the swordsman spent avoiding direct eye contact with her, “You admit that you are one of my lap dogs?”

A muscle in his jaw flexed and he stopped drinking for one second to grunt, “That’s not what I said.”

“That’s what I heard!” Chimed Nami as she rose from her seat, stepping over to Zoro and tracing a finger under his jaw while he drained the last few drops of liquid. “I should get you a collar, so people know who to bring you to when you get lost.”

Normally he would have snapped at her for poking fun at his sense, or lack thereof, direction but he wasn’t listening to her. She’d come close enough for him to pick up her scent and maybe it was the alcohol intensifying his feelings, but it was suffocating him in a good way.

He loved the way she smelled. Tangerines from her soaps mixed with salty seawater and traces of sunscreen. A hint of orange blossom, but only when she was close to him like this. 

Zoro inhaled deeply through his nose and, without realizing it, his expression melted into something affectionate and gentle. ‘In two years she’d changed in so many different ways… but she still smelled the same. She still smelled like home.’

                                                        * * *

“What are you thinking about, Zoro?” Her voice void of it’s usual teasing tone, Nami’s curiosity was piqued by his sudden shift in demeanor. He looked soft and peaceful, like he didn’t have anything to worry about. She wanted to know why.

‘Ah, fuck.’ What was he supposed to tell her? That he was thinking about how good she smelled? ‘Yeah right.’ Zoro was quiet for a while, mulling over his words until he came up with an explanation that didn’t sound as creepy – but also wasn’t a lie.

“I guess..” he finally murmured, his gaze shifting to meet hers, “It’s just been a while and… I was thinking about how nice it feels to be back here, with everyone…” a brief pause then he added, “I missed you guys.” ‘Look at him being all gushy and emotional, this wine really was something else.’ Zoro reached to brush his fingertips by her temple, catching a stray lock of hair and tucking it behind her ear, “I missed you.”

When had Zoro ever been this honest with her about the way he felt? Never was the answer, but now he seemed to trust her well enough to know she wouldn’t spill his secrets. Nami took his face in both of her hands, surprising him, and pulled his head down so she could kiss his forehead. “I missed you too, Zoro.”

Something about hearing her say that she’d missed him too broke a dam in his chest that he’d been trying to keep together for two years. Hormoness flooded through his bloodstream quicker than Zoro could even process them and before he knew it he was practically throwing his arms around Nami’s waist and crushing her against his chest.

“Nami—” he pressed his face into her neck to hide the tears that he couldn’t hold back anymore. Sober he might have cared about losing it like this around her but she was here and… ‘He just – needed to hold her.’ Hold her and smell her and feel how real she was because she had almost been taken from him.

‘He’d barely begun to process what he had been through on Thriller Bark when they were attacked in Sabaody. If he tried to think back on it his memories would get hazy and his bones would ache from their very cores. He knew what had happened but it’s like his brain was protecting him from understanding how close to death he’d come. Then – to be torn away from the people he loved with all of his heart? Who he had just nearly killed himself to protect?

It had ripped him apart and rubbed salt into every wound. And it fucking hurt. The same kind of pain he felt when he saw Kuina dead on the floor of their dojo. He was scared, he was furious, he was devastated – all over again but this time it was so much worse. So, so much worse.

That was why he had trained so hard over the last two years. Because he couldn’t bear the grief that came with loving them so deeply – so he got stronger. And stronger. And stronger. No matter the cost to his body, he would become powerful enough to defeat anyone who crossed them. Then… He would never have to feel the agony that he did when he first woke up on Kuraigana Island ever again.

Taking on all of Luffy’s suffering in Thriller Bark had been the most physically painful experience of his entire life – but that was nothing compared to how much it hurt to think that his friends were gone forever, that he hadn’t been able to protect them.

Training made it easy not to think about what had happened -- but now he was home, and they were safe - and he was realizing just how close he’d come to losing all of them. At once. And he could do nothing to stop it.’

Startled by him grabbing her, Nami was prepared to give the pirate a good smack if he was getting handsy but… He started trembling. ‘Was he not feeling well?’ Her mouth opened to form the question then stopped. His breathing hitched while his entire body jerked and she realized…

‘Zoro was crying.’

Roronoa Zoro, who prided himself on his strength, was sobbing wretchedly into her neck. ‘He must have been holding this in since Sabaody.’ Nami’s heart ached for him and his stupid pride that forced him to torture himself instead of letting him cry like he needed to. She’d been expecting him to crash at some point, how couldn’t he? Even someone as strong as Zoro was still a human being.

One of her arms cradled his head while the other wound round his shoulders, her fingers combing gently through his hair. “Oh you sweet, sweet boy…” she spoke in the tone that Bellemere used to use when Nami and Nojiko were frightened by a passing thunderstorm. It always calmed her, maybe it would calm Zoro, too.

‘Quit fucking crying you loser you’re supposed to be a man.’ But he couldn’t, he literally could not stop because he was trying to. “I wasn’t strong enough,” his voice quivered at the edges and he hated it. ‘He was definitely never going to drink this kind of wine again ever. Not if it turned him into a blubbering mess like this every time.’

“Shhh, no. No. Don’t you dare try to blame yourself for what happened. Hey, look at me.” Nami urged his head off her shoulder and cupped his face in both of her palms, “None of us were strong enough, okay? Not even Luffy.” Each tear that fell she tenderly swept away with the pad of her thumb. The corner of her mouth turned up as she assured him, “But we are strong enough now. We can take care of each other. Nothing is ever going to tear us apart again, Zoro.”

‘She was right. Of course, she was right. He needed to have faith in his crewmates and his captain. They could do anything as long as they had each other.’ His breathing slowly evened out as he focused on anchoring himself back to reality. He wasn’t in Sabaody or Kuraigana – he was on the Sunny. In the bar, with Nami who had grown so much since he last saw her. The look in his eye softened like it had before his breakdown.

“You’re staring at me again, Zoro.” The navigator teased, her hands falling to rest on his shoulders. He hadn’t let go of her yet but she didn’t mind, he could hold on to her for as long as he needed.

A ghost of his usual smirk passed across his face. “Sorry, Nami…” Zoro took a little risk by leaning in to press a chaste but lingering kiss to her cheek, then traced a path with the edge of his nose to her ear, murmuring, “Wine makes me a little… Messy.”

[lovely-jily]

“we’re rubbish at lying”

hey! i had this cute idea and wanted to see where it would take me. it’s just a little taste of some wolfstar, and who doesn't love that? let me know how you guys like it:))))

"Sirius! You git, you can't hog all the firewhisky," Marlene yanked the bottle out of the protesting boy's hand. She took a swig of it, giggling slightly, which caused the liquid to run down her chin. 

"I wouldn't have to worry about hogging it if you didn't waste so much," Sirius grabbed the bottle back, wiping Marlene's chin of the spilled drink, "You do know that some of us intend to get drunk tonight, right?"

The giggling persisted. She was making obvious advances on the boy, and he was obviously enjoying it. She was grabbing his arm, playing with his hair. Sirius always was a flirt, and loved when it was reciprocated. Anything to boost his ego. 

They were in James’s living room. He had invited them all over a few days before the term started. It was their last year. The last year before they were thrust into the real world, before they were going to fight in a war that was no theirs.

 Marlene and Sirius were sitting on the floor next to the fire, Peter on the chair behind them. Across from them sat James, Remus, Mary, and Dorcus on the couch, clutching their mugs.

James didn't want to drink, as he wasn't seventeen and he was smart enough not to disrespect his mother's rules inside her own house. Remus hated getting drunk, and Lily always assumed it was a control thing. She knew the boy was secretive and she knew that firewhisky was a good tool at loosening the filter that restricted said secrets (other than veritaserum, of course). Mary and Dorcus were probably going to get into the drink later, but the night was still young and they wanted to remember most of it. 

Lily was leaning on the doorway connecting the kitchen and the living room. She was snacking on some of the pudding that Mrs. Potter had made and was watching Marlene's horrid attempts to flirt with Sirius. 

"You know what I've heard about you, Sirius?" Marlene was now caressing his thigh. Sirius was simply laughing at her, looking over at James who had a smirk on his face as well. 

"What have you heard, Marlene?" Sirius laughs at her as she leans in close. Lily could only imagine the smell of the alcohol on their breaths. 

"That you," She ran a finger up his arm before taking another swig, "are like a dog in bed."

She grabbed a fistful of his shirt while the room roared, the four boys a little too loudly. Lily got the sense that she was missing out on some inside joke. 

"Have you also heard how he humps his pillow in the dead of night?" James laughed, looking at Sirius's now red face. 

Marlene looked at James as if she were pondering something. She then stood up, bottle in hand, and walked over to him. 

"I've heard even better things about you, Jamsie boy," She traced her hand over his jawline before straddling him. At this sight, Lily felt her stomach drop and a burning feeling in her chest. Ignoring it, and simply wanting it to go away, she glanced down at her plate, playing with the pudding. 

"Is that good?"

She looked up at Remus. He was in a plain t-shirt and jeans, and Lily found that his arms were rather scrawny without a jumper or his robes. She had never seen him in a t-shirt. 

"It was," she smiled at him. Out of all the boys, she was the closest to him by far. 

"Mrs. Potter is a brilliant cook," he said, leaning against the doorframe. 

"I have a proposition!" Marlene exclaimed, pulling James and Sirius up and wrapping her arms around the pair of them, "Let's have a threesome!"

Lily gripped her fork tighter, looking back down at her plate. Her appetite was lost. She then watched Remus's face and it matched how she felt, although he was trying to mask it. But she could read through the stone expression.

"You don't like that either, do you," she said to him quietly. 

He looked at her, and she could see panic flash in his eyes for a moment and shock on his face, "What do you mean?"

"You've been looking at Marlene all night," She said. It was true, even at dinner Marlene was making advances on Sirius, "Sorry to assume."

"Oh," Relief flashed over his eyes and he chuckled, "I just worry about the decisions of my mates is all."

Lily looked down at her plate, "Yeah, same. I usually have to mother Marlene when she gets into alcohol and I was just looking foward to a good night. It's a little embarrassing in all honesty."

"We're rubbish at lying," Remus responded, smirking and putting his hands in his pockets.

Lily laughed slightly, "We really are. But at least we have each other."

The night persisted and after Marlene stopped trying to hookup and started crying, they all went to bed. While Lily was brushing her red hair, there was a timid knock at the door. 

"Come in," She answered.

Remus entered, wearing his night robes. He looked nervous, hands playing with his pajama shirt and eyes wild, "Do you have a second?"

"Of course," Lily smiled, invitingly, in an attempt to calm him down and welcome him. He looked almost like a deer in the headlights.

He shut the door behind him and sat on the dresser, in front of her. 

"I've got to tell you something, Lily," the boy took a shaky breath. It seemed like he was near exploding, "And I don't want you to think of me any differently because I'm still the same person that you're close with."

"Okay," Lily smiled. She knew what he was going to say. Lily knew those scars don't come from "accidents". When she first met the boy, she assumed he was abused and her heart ached for him.

However, it became clear by their fifth year that an abusive home life wasn't at fault for the deformities. Lily figured out the patterns while they worked together as prefects, although she never confronted him on the subject. She didn't care, and in all honestly, she empathized with the feeling of not fully belonging in the wizarding world. 

Remus looked like he was going to throw up. His face was pale, his jaw clenched shut.

"Rem," She took his hand, causing him to relax, "You can tell me absolutely anything and I wouldn't look at you any differently-"

"I'm gay." 

That was absolutely not the secret that Lily had expected. She felt her eyes wide and her mouth go dry. She felt horrible for this reaction, but it really took her by surprise and she needed a second to compose her thoughts.

Remus seemed to take her silence as a bad sign because the boy began to go on a nervous rampage that was almost impossible to understand, "Well, I actually might be bisexual with just a heavy preference towards men, because I had a huge crush on Janet Prince in third year, but I mean she also was a Tom Boy, so who knows, but I still liked her and-"

Lily kicked herself for her reaction. She didn't care about his sexuality, she felt the same way about it as she did him being a werewolf, she was just so shocked. 

She rubbed her hands on his arms, "Hey, Remus, it's alright."

He relaxed a bit under her touch, "Are you sure?"

"Of course I am," She said, bringing back her welcoming smile, "I just didn't expect it, is all. I'm proud of you for telling me though, that's not easy."

"While we’re on the topic," He looked in her face and smirked, "I'm a werewolf."

She laughed and the sharp change in mood, "I know."

It was his turn to be shocked, "How?"

"Rem, no one gets sick every full moon. I only noticed because that's when you couldn't finish the Prefect work and so I had a lot of late nights staring at the full moon."

"Sorry about that," He smirked slightly, blushing. 

"Don't be. I was happy to do it," Lily picked her brush back up, "So I'm assuming that Marlene wasn't the one you were staring at then?"

His blush reddened, "No."

Lily laughed slightly, "I do think that Sirius flirts with you more than the rest of us."

He did a nervous smile, "Lily, while I appreciate that, I know you're just saying that."

"Remus, I wouldn't say it if I didn't think it was true. I know the damage that lies can do."

[smoochi-dazai]

can i request a fluffy dazai x reader,, where dazai & reader celebrate after a successful mission or something,, and they go to a bar to drink,, and reader is actually the type of person who gets drunk really fast so dazai needs to take care of them and reader ends up confessing to dazai. reader is like,, flirty + giggly drunk. bonus if dazai teases them about it next morning hehe,, ty in advance!!

✿ “ Love & Champaign ” ✿

—> Bungo Stray Dogs, Dazai Osamu | Reader

—> Sweet | Oneshot

—> Description | after one too many drinks for the celebration, you find yourself in a daze while staring at Dazai. Slurred flirts lead to a confession, will you handle the embarrassment? 

—> Little note | not gonna lie, this is like my... my favourite so far.i got carried away tonight haha. 3.8k words! HhhH I got too distracted by cuteness, it’s almost 2am. I started this at 10pm I think. Please enjoy! Sorry if it’s a mess 💕 came from the heart and I never plan ahead for this stuff haha. I just write it as it flows from my soul. 

Shifting her weight, the women of familiarity sat comfortably next to Dazai on a tall wooden stool. Her beautiful eyes seemed to grasp onto his heart as she held an angelic appearance. That far off look in her dilated pupils due to the dim lighting, a thoughtless expression purely in her eyes alone- he found it unimaginably attractive. Observing each small detail from the flush on her cheeks to the strands of hair framing her face perfectly.

That woman is you.

The same very person who was invited by none other then Dazai himself to have a drink together, a celebration for a hard task full day at work.

“ So, How come you ordered an extra glass of champagne? ” You inquired, “ Did you invite someone to come drink with us? ”

Glancing to your right, the bartender was the first to gently set the glass half-full of rather expensive wine on the counter you sat at. He was friendly, much older than you or Dazai by appearance. Without a word, he set yours and Dazais glass’s down before leaving you two on your own.

“ It’s for a friend, he won’t be showing up tonight. ” Dazai muttered softly.

“ If he won’t be here, then how come you bought the drink? ” You pushed on for some kind of answer to satisfy the curiosity, looking away from the mysterious drink. Your eyes now focused on Dazai, he held a faint smile while staring at his glass of alcohol. Eyes downcast, appearing to be lost in his thoughts.

As his lips part, Dazai lets out a gentle sigh. Opening his mouth more to find words to reach you, nothing came out. Shutting it again, Dazai raised his hand to the glass, however— instead of picking it up to taste the alcoholic drink, a slight chime echoed through the bar from Dazai flicking the glass once. The spherical ice began to bob up and down in the glass, vibrations from the clash gave him a familiar sense of nostalgia.

Finally, he spoke up.

“ Odasaku. He, Ango and I would often meet here to talk. Those days are long gone now, however. ”

Something in Dazais tone seemed off, you were all too aware of his masks to hide the scars of his past. It was tough, you knew it was— not only for him but you as well. Whenever you’d try to convince him to vent his pain, he’d laugh it off and ask what you were talking about.

Something about those situations always made you hurt, the feeling of uselessness would grasp your heart. Making it almost hard to breathe, the feeling of being unable to help Dazai when his eyes held so much pain he’d try to hideaway. It wasn’t healthy— you wanted to help him but never found yourself capable of doing.

Staying silent, the two of you seemed more distant than ever. In an attempt to clear the atmosphere, you thought of a silly idea that may help. Sliding your drink closer to Odasakus, you found yourself tap the two glasses against each other. As a form of cheers to Odasaku even though he wasn’t quite there to see. The sound of two glasses made Dazai lift his head, staring at you in slight confusion and bewilderment.

“ Cheers,” You exclaim in a hushed tone, “ I never got to meet you. But from all the stories I hear from Dazai, you were a brilliant man. ”

Speechless, Dazai’s gaze leaves your back as soon as you begin to turn around. His own flush of blush began to sink into his skin, thinking over your odd interaction with his past friend. Lifting his drink, a warm smile met his lips.

“ Hey, how about a toast? ” Dazais voice caught your attention, lifting your glass to his.

“ Sure, what’ll it be for this time? ” Assuming it’ll be for your hard day of work at the detective's agency, it somehow didn’t surprise you with what he had said next.

“ To the Stray Dogs. ”

Dazais features held an enchanting smile, cheeks rose while a faint flush could be spotted. Not enough to notice unless you’re close, along with the lighting it was hard to point out. He seemed to genuinely be enjoying himself, just you— him and don’t forget Odasaku.

“ Before we do that, give me a second. ”

You seemed to confuse Dazai more by the minute, yet it seemed to amuse him the more you did so. It wasn’t common for something to surprise that man. It gave him a refreshing chill.

Still holding up your glass, you carefully reach over for Odasakus as well. Lifting it, both hands were now full. Your smile looked ridiculous at this point from the amount of sheer joy. It started to hurt honestly, but you didn’t mind at all. Preparing to have a toast, both glasses were held high for Dazai to join you on the toast in celebration. After a moment of silence, Dazai pushed his glass forward in the air. Hearing the clatter between three glasses, more nostalgia hit him.

“ To the stray dogs! ” / “ To the stray dogs. ” You both say in unison.

Mismatching smiles were viable as you set Odasakus drink back down before downing yours a little too quickly. Meanwhile, Dazai takes a small sip of his, feeling the burning sensation of beer rush down his system.

Both Dazai and you were always pretty close friends within the agency, maybe it was because you somehow tolerated his nonsense without having to smack him. He didn’t find you that interesting from afar, yet now he can never get that side glanced look out of his head from before. You were something he adored, something he found as a sort of coping mechanism from the pain he truly felt within his hollow heart. He never saw you as something similar to him, you were full of life, a flame that never seemed to falter or be brushed away by the gusts of wind.

A deadly nightshade in his system that refused to leave—no matter his aggression, you were always at his side. He’d push you away, he’d raise his voice and tell you how wrong you are when you make absurd accusations of who he really is. Little did you know, they were all true. Or were you aware? Was that why you never seemed dazed by his harsh words? Either way, he knew you both wouldn’t have the chance to get any closer. Always being caught up in work was a struggle, you were just like the rest of the agency. Just a stranger to him deep down— why did the idea make his heart clench? Was his body telling himself another story then he had thought? Truth be told, he couldn’t tell what his feelings for you had been.

“ Hey... Osamu? ”

The thought of falling in love with you was odd. But at the same time, just the idea made butterflies swell up within his stomach. You were incredibly strange, but so was he.

“ Osamu~ ” You whined while leaning closer to him, scooting your stool closer and closer without him noticing. Was he that out of it?

Finally snapping out of it, the feeling of warmth brushing against his skin caught him at a somewhat vulnerable point. Gazing to the source of heat, he came to the realization you were calling his name. But not just any name, not your usual ‘Dazai’ it was his first name that escaped your plump lips. A giant pout was adorned in your features as you lean closer to his face. He lifted a hand to the part where your breath hit his neck, feeling the hairs stand.

“ Hey, stop ignoring me- Osamu! ”

As his eyes met with hers, she started giggling. Leaning away from the bandaged man known as Dazai, she smiles childishly. Both legs swing back and forth.

“ Have I ever told you how beautiful your eyes are? They’re like yummy chocolate...” You chant to yourself and him. “ You’re so handsome~ I’m almost jealous! ”

This was not common for you to be so straight forward, and going by the sudden change in attitude Dazai could only assume you’d already gotten yourself drunk. Sighing deeply, he could only pray you wouldn’t be as much of a handful as Chūya had on his off days.

Speaking of which, either you got drunk abnormally quick— or he was a little too trapped in his thoughts.

Observing your every motion, Dazai put his drink to side calmly. Never once losing his composure, an amused smirk makes his way to his lips. Oh, how he’s going to enjoy teasing you in the morning— he can only wonder how many embarrassing things he could make you say tonight.

“ Thank you, I think you’re rather beautiful yourself. ” Dazai said, the smile remaining in place which only seemed to encourage your flirts unexpectedly.

“ You say that to every girl, ” You mutter, leaning closer to him again while squinting your eyes. Feeling a little light-headed, or did you feel heavier? You couldn’t tell. “ Your smirking is ever hotter... nngh, you’re so perfect~ how do women complain about you so much. If you value that double suicide thingy, doesn’t that just mean your that much more committed? To end everything with them? ”

Dazai decided to reply with a small hum, lifting his glass and taking a sip of his leftover drink. Yours meanwhile had been empty to awhile, how did you manage to get drunk over a single glass? Or did you get another without his eyes catching you? Frankly, he didn’t care, amused with the scenario at play. Something caught his attention though, you’d always disagree with his requests for a lover's suicide while sober. But now you’re complaining about other women not wanting to do it. Does this mean you actually wouldn’t mind going to such extreme lengths with him? God, he was in for a lot tonight. He could tell.

“ You always have a cute smile, you’re talented as hell— ” your speech was replaced with a small fit of giggles, tears escaping your eyes which mildly concerned him for a moment, “ You never fail to make laugh... when I cry, you’re there for me through it all. Maybe your ability is right, you aren’t human! ”

A small laugh escapes Dazais throat at your slurred nonsense, Dazai then enlightens you on his thoughts.

“ If I’m not human,” Dazai began, shifting his body to look at your questioningly, an eyebrow lifted while the other furrowed. “ ...then what would I be, Belladonna?”

“ An angel! ”

Did he hear you right? Was he, the ex-port mafia member— titled as an angel in disguise?

You almost seemed in awe at your own words, making it twice as amusing for him. Before he could even speak, you interrupted his thoughts again.

“ Osamu? Am I allowed to be in love with an angel? Can a human fall for an angel without consequence... will you leave me behind to go to heaven by yourself? ” You questioned him in an unsure whisper, fatigue showing more than the bright red flush coating your cheeks. Those half-lidded eyes gave you away, but you seemed to still manage to keep your consciousness.

Dazai takes a moment to grasp what your spiral of words meant, was this a form of confession? Did you feel that way about him, or were they meaningless drunk words? Surely they had to be, but something about your saddened eyes ... Dazai thought of it plenty of times and found himself really picking his words carefully.

“ I’m not any kind of angel, but I’m sure you’ll find an angel to love you someday. My true nature is nothing but evil, Belladonna. I’m sorry, I can’t be your angel— even if I want too...” Dazai apologized with a more sadden tone, smiling slightly as he brushed his hand through your messy hair.

Both your stools were sat so close, you practically could lean against him safely without falling. And that’s exactly what you found yourself doing.

“ But even Lucifer was once an angel... why can’t you be mine—Osamu, if you can’t be my angel... then... ” Lifting your head off his shoulder, your lazy hands lift to cup his face.

“ Be my handsome- my.. partner in crime, my own Lucifer. ” You mutter close to his ear, something about your tone was somewhat alluring and even seductive. Shutting your eyes tightly while leaning in, your noses brushed against each other, then as you tilted your head you brush your lips against his as if asking for some kind of permission- there was hesitation for a split second. Only for your lips to connect with his forcefully, that’s what sealed the deal. Would he pull away? You desperately held onto him, though your grasp was rather weak due to alcohol in your system.

An abnormal feeling in his heart appeared again, it began to pound in his ears faster by the second— even skipping a couple of beats. What was this? Why did he feel this way, he didn’t deserve it- so why did God bless him with you. Was there a god? If he agreed, would you be willing to go to depths of hell with him, just for some silly love? No, it was more than that for you. You had genuine feelings for him, you cared for the suicidal maniac. His eyes remain open during the kiss, feeling a presence behind you. That’s when he saw a distant light at the door of Lupins bar. There stood Odasaku, smiling at him.

Was this right? Odasaku once said Dazai would never find something to fill that void in his heart. Yet his heart felt like it could burst at any second, tears began to brim his eyes while Odasakus blurry image faded. As the first tear slides down Dazais cheek, he wrapped both arms around your waist, shutting his eyes during the kiss to enjoy you. Pressing your body closer with his than ever before, the kiss deepened. It was so incredibly sloppy, but it was perfect for all its imperfections.

Even if his demons were to ever return, Dazai would protect you just as Odasaku did for him. Odasaku saved Dazai from imaginable darkness in the Mafia, even if it put him through pain- he’s met so many kinder people in the light. Meeting a new world, a world more beautiful and full of colour,

Odasaku standing there almost felt as it’s own congratulations, not to only his hard work- but he was proud of Dazai. The tears pour uncontrollably while the kiss lasted for almost a whole minute. Both pulling away, they panted together- taking each other’s breath away completely. Pulling you into his chest, Dazai combed back your hair, allowing you to rest against him for a while in blissful silence.

He couldn’t let you see him tear up like this. All he cared about now, was his pure happiness. The idea of his lonely days being brushed away now swept away with the wind. He knew this won’t cure his pain, and it hurt to remember. So all he tried to do was forget that pain for a minute, allowing you to take over his mind.

He loves you.

And now that he understood the feelings were mutual? Dazai could maybe learn to be himself more often with you around.

After a while of his deep thoughts, Dazais bandaged arm around your waist relaxed. While your body fell limp against him, you were knocked out cold. Smiling to himself, Dazai looked at the bartender's familiar smile- it was the same person who worked there from ages ago.

Taking you out for a drink wasn’t a mistake after all, though the idea of Kunikida getting pissed with you two because you’ll probably have a pretty bad hangover in the morning at work is gonna be troublesome. Guess it’s an excuse to stay home with you.

“ I’ll be your Lucifer, as long as you continue being my beautiful Belladonna. ” Smiling gently to himself, Dazai began to lift you off of him. Slipping off the stool, he changed your position. One arm was beneath your knees while the other hoisted up to your back. Holding you close to his chest, he thanked the bartender and left the bar. Three glasses were left behind on the table.

In the morning, you woke up feeling sick to your stomach. A pounding heartbeat was left ringing in your head as you sat up in your bed, when did you ever return home? Struggling to remember what happened in the bar with Dazai, you throw your legs off your bed. Lifting yourself, you began to stumble. Suddenly a buzz came from your phone, tripping over your own feet you fall into your bed again. Groaning tiredly, you felt so weak right now. What in the world? How much did you drink last night to get like this... oh yeah- the phone. Lazily throwing your hand up onto your bedside table, you search for your phone. Only for someone else to take it from you. Lifting your head from the mattress, your eyes widen at the sight of a shirtless Dazai. Feeling self-conscious you then realize you were wearing next to nothing either. Suddenly your face bursts into flames, becoming a stuttering mess.

“ Dazai- w-we didn’t do anything bad last night did we? ” You blurted out, he took notice of your embarrassment and smiles innocently.

“ Of course not, we just came to your house and I helped you strip to sleep easier~ your body is incredibly hot if I do say so myself, Belladonna. Shame you hide it all the time. ”

“ You’re one to talk Dazai, always covered in b- wait... you stripped me?! ” more flush coated your cheeks, picking up a pillow— you threaten to throw it at Dazai. Almost I’m que, your head suddenly began to pound again, throwing the pillow at his feet instead.

Concerned, Dazai rushed out of the room to get you some water. Returning to the room to find you holding your mouth and stomach while hunching over, he could only worry more while crouching down. Lifting your head gently, he held the glass of water to your lips.

“ Drink it slowly,” he instructed almost like a parent or some boyfriend, worried about your health. He guessed the teasing must be saved for later, your health is a priority to him. Unless...

Following the orders, you grasp the cup in his hand while he still assisted with a simple task. It was rather endearing, who knew Dazai could be so gentle. The water went down smoothly, feeling a little clearer in the head at least. But then suddenly you felt it begin to come back up- dashing out of your room you find your bathroom.

Dazai chases after you, finding you hunched over the Toilet gagging. It wasn’t an attractive scene, in the slightest. But he found himself smile- remembering last night.

Kneeling to your height, his hand gently caressed your back. Soothing you slightly as you confuse to gag- he remained at your side through it all. As your system felt clearer it finally ended, lifting your head from the toilet bowl, you flush the toilet. Staring nervously back at Dazai, “ I’m sorry you have to see me like this, I hope I wasn’t a handful last night. I hardly remember anything, what I do know is it gave me a massive headache though. ” You curse out loud, head refusing to give you any mercy.

“ It’s alright, I know it’s rough the first couple drinks. ” Dazai smiles, it was so sincere you couldn’t help but question what lightened his mood so much. You weren't complaining though, it made your heart flutter. “ Not only that, but you said some pretty bold things while you were drunk~ ”

Oh god. You knew it was coming- the bastard was prepared to tease you for how long now?... oh sweet god.

Dramatically throwing his arms around him, he began to wiggle.

“ You’re so handsome~ oh you’re perfect Osamu~!” He teased, enjoying how embarrassed you got. “ Be my Lucifer! You muttered in my ear, ah~ Belladonna your way with words made my heart soar. ”

“ Shut up, there is no way I said all of that to you. ”

“ Playing denial now are we, my sweet Belladonna?~ want me to continue? ” Dazai challenged, it was all playful but it still had you fuming with frustration and embarrassment.

“ Do I even have a choice? ” You frown, feeling defeated. And while you complain, the small awkward smile and blush gave away your true emotions.

“ This time, you do. ”

To your surprise, his words took you a moment to understand. Looking at him disbelief, you saw a playful smirk- that smirk was way too damn attractive yet the dangerous intent was terrifying.

“ Just kidding~ how could I let a chance like this pass up? ”

Knew it.

“ Though, I do have a question. ” Dazais tone suddenly becomes more serious, no longer as playfully and happy-go-lucky as before. Leaving you confused, until he lifted you off the ground. Pulling you into a hug, you could feel his breath against your ear.

“ If all you said is true, would you commit a lover's suicide with me someday? ” The question seemed a little too silly but a part of you couldn’t turn it down at this very moment, maybe because of how serious he seemed while saying it.

“ Maybe?... ” You whisper back weakly, unsure of yourself.

“ Let me rephrase,” Dazais grasp on you became stronger until he pushed you away a little, just enough for you to be face to face. Holding your shoulders, his arms snake around your waist instead in a split second- eyes staring deeply into yours.

“ Will you be mine? ”

In reality, he was just repeating what you had told him many times during that drunken state, but the fact he was the one to ask you out here in your home? You could faint again. Nodding with a small smile, you tried to hold back a stupid goofy grin. With that response, Dazai holds you close to him, his arms felt so secure- you couldn’t help but relax under his touch.

You two finally were official, and you were both finally happy. He found his reason to live and even received Odasakus approval. But it wouldn’t end at that, oh no.

“ You know this isn’t saving you from my teasing, yes? ” Dazai chuckles, sending shivers down your spine while expecting only the best of the worst for your fate. You were defeated, but the happiness distracted you from the cruelty of his future teasing.

“ I wouldn’t have it any other way, Dork. ”

Tags : @i-am-a-bastard @writing-for-me-at-this-point @soukokuwu 

[ladyeliot]

“Your stupid spider”

Superhero vs Villain!Reader Prompts

Request: Anonymous: Hello there! Could you write a Superhero vs Villain, where the reader is Peter Parker's best friend but also his enemy? You can use #3 if you want. By the way I love your stories and your writing. Lots of love.

Prompt #3: Truce? 

Pairing: Superhero!Peter Parker x Villain!Fem!Reader

Summary: Peter Parker is your best friend, and Spider-man is your enemy. You finally discover that they are the same person.

Warnings: Violence. 

Word count: 2446

A/N: Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

"If you are really interested in how I discovered the identity of my greatest enemy, please read on."

You. An ordinary girl, born in Brooklyn to a single parent family who had moved into a small flat in the Queens area with her mother. No drugs, no alcohol, no tobacco, your obsession was pancakes and syrup. You didn't do any chores, and you didn't sneak out of the housework. After school you went home with your friends to do your homework. You liked reading, and you listened to music with headphones so as not to disturb the neighbours. In short, a teenager that many parents wish they had.

However, your persona wasn't all rosy, just because Y/N was like that, didn't mean your alter ego was too. You had a secret, everyone has secrets, you might think, but it wasn't just any secret, it was "The Secret", and no one knew it. That's why you could say it was the best kept secret in Queens, or at least that's what you thought until he came along. Spider-man.

Everything went smoothly, it took you a while to assume your powers, your teleportation, but when you got it you enjoyed your solitude in your night outings. You discovered the reality of New York City, the nocturnal and dark atmosphere of being hidden in the shadows, that is to say, you had fun as only you knew how to do. Nevertheless, since the arrival of that Spider-man, your fun was over. That man had in mind to destroy the true essence of the city and that was something you could not allow.

Your first meeting was at the top of Rockefeller Center, a night like any other after the end of one of the most intrepid police chases in Midtown West. There you were, watching the chase unfold, and there he arrived. Remarkably, due to the concealment of your costumes, neither of you could figure out who the other was, and your voice-impersonation skills helped you never get caught. All in all, that was one of many encounters you would have in the wake of Spider-Man's popularity. But still, your life went on.

"Are you telling me you're going to stand me up this afternoon for helping your aunt bake a cake?" you asked Peter between complaints. "You know we have to study for the chemistry test on Friday. And that I'm nothing without you in chemistry."

Although you tried to show him the most apologetic face in the whole world, Peter was not immune to it. 

"Sorry Y/N," he closed his locker after grabbing his books. "I promised May last week, it's very important for her to give a good welcome to the new neighbours."

You rolled your eyes but finally came to terms with your defeat.

"Okay Parker," you gave him a little push. "But you've been letting me down in the afternoons for three days now. You'll make it up to me."

You winked and Peter's cheeks quickly turned pink, he gave you a shy smile and nodded goodbye. He was adorable. It was actually good to be free in the afternoons, since Spider-Man had gotten in your way, you had a complex relationship, playing cat and mouse, trying to hinder each other's actions, and it was interesting that week.

Like the previous days, after finishing your chores at home, you put on your black suit and disappeared. Your power was complex, you didn't fully understand it yet and you knew it would take a while, but you weren't scared. You could teleport to a specific place, teleport to another person or object, and even open portals to other places. But these superpowers had played tricks on you, sometimes you appeared in places you didn't recognise and then didn't know how to get back, or you had to return home by taking public transport. Everything has its drawbacks.

Dusk was falling over the island of Manhattan, it was a busy spring evening in New York, big businessmen were leaving their offices, dog walkers were wandering into Central Park and a group of elementary school students were leaving the Museum of Arts and Design. You caught your gaze on the broad clock of a prominent building and instantly there he was, coming from 8th Avenue.

You smiled, you were in the mood for fun and what better way than to open a portal right in front of him to get rid of Spider-man and send him a few blocks further south.

"Woah!" he exclaimed, stepping into the portal and disappearing, not for long.

You started laughing, he always fell into your trap and yet he was still funny to you.

"Hello Miss Holes!"

Within two minutes it landed next to you throwing a spider web which you dodged opening a new portal.

"Too slow, stupid spider," you said with a grin hidden under your mask.  "And too predictable to be the mascot of the Avengers.

The two of you began a small battle on top of that building, as if choreographed.

"Hey!" he exclaimed somewhat offended, dodging a new portal. "I'm not the Avengers' mascot."

"Then why is it your turn to do the dirty work?" you ran off, shaking off his cobwebs.

"What...?" began Spider-man somewhat confusedly pausing over the rooftop antenna. "What dirty work?"

You let out a small laugh and in an instant you teleported to his side.

"You know," you began to lower your tone."Robbing old ladies, selling drugs in the neighbourhood - oh, you even helped a woman yesterday who didn't know where to find the underground," you squinted. "Spidey, you're so bored that the most exciting thing in your life is meeting me."

You were so lost for words that you didn't see it coming. In that instant a spider web, a bit slimy for your taste, wrapped around your mouth like a gag silencing your every word. You quickly tried to get rid of it with little luck.

"Thank goodness!" exclaimed your opponent alejándose de ti. "Much better. Sorry about that, but we'll be doing us both a favour."

You touched solid ground again, and raised your hands in the direction of the satellite dish, teleporting it in the direction of Spider-man, who quickly dodged it. From that moment on, your rage intensified, increasing the tension of the fight, which usually ended without a clear winner, only exhaustion won out.

"Woah! That was a close one!" he exclaimed, leaping ten metres above you.

Your throat squeaked, but no sound escaped because of the gag. You tried to get rid of it by teleporting it away, but it wasn't possible. At that moment you would have made it disappear forever if you could, but finally you stopped throwing objects at it, to disappear from there yourself.

It wasn't being a good day for you, maybe it also had to do with the fact that you were sure that your best friend didn't have to make any cake with his aunt May, nor did he have to accompany her to dance classes or anything like that, they were all excuses and you didn't know why he was making them.

In milliseconds you were back in your room, rummaging through your things to get rid of that gag and remove the mask from your costume. Nothing was any good. You had no idea what that spider's web was made of, but nothing could break it.

In desperation you tried again to teleport it, but you were unable to concentrate all your attention on it. You had only one hope left, Peter, he would surely know how to get rid of her, although you would owe him a lot more explanations. You closed your eyes, instantly you were inside his room, luckily he wasn't there, nor was he inside the house, everything was silent. So you assumed that he was not baking a cake with his aunt.

A couple of hours passed, just enough time to come up with a plan before Peter arrived.You had taken a handful of sheets of paper, you knew that when he came in he would be scared and might scream, so you summarised your story as best you could on those sheets of paper.

You heard the front door close, Peter was talking to May and heading towards his room. You took the sheets of paper and positioned yourself in the middle of the room, waiting for him to come in, as if it was the movie "love actually". It was an embarrassing situation.  You watched as the doorknob turned and there he appeared.

It took a few moments for his eyes to settle on you, but at that very moment both of them widened like saucers.

"How the hell...!"

You quickly raised your hand, trying not to make your friend squeal or panic, and pointed hurriedly to the sheets of paper you were holding.

Peter closed the door behind him with a stunned look on his face.

"Please don't shout," he began, reading the posters in a trembling voice. "I'm not going to hurt you."

You dropped a sheet of paper on the floor.

"It's me, Y/N," Peter's voice dimmed, and it took him a while to react. "WHAT?!!!!"

You quickly raised your arms again in a way to stop him from screaming.

" Whoa, whoa, whoa!" exclaimed Peter again. "What are you saying?!"

Dejaste que los carteles se cayeran al suelo y saltaste sobre él intentando cubrir su boca con tus manos. En aquellos momentos estabas segura de que su tía May entraría en la habitación en segundos debido al ruido. Peter seguía gritando cosas inentendibles bajo tus manos, con sus ojos castaños abiertos como platos mirándote. Decidiste destaparle la boca, ya que no servía para nada y volviste a por los folios para ponérselos nuevamente frente a él.

“¡Esto es una locura!” se llevó las manos a la cara, pero continuó leyendo los folios. “Spider-man me ha lanzado una de sus telarañas,” cambiaste de folio. “Y no puedo deshacerme de ella, tienes que ayudarme.”

Peter stood still watching you, his eyes were red with nervousness and his nostrils flared every time he took in and released air from his lungs. You knew it was going to be a shock to your friend, but you didn't understand how it was affecting him so much. You raised your arms, quickly pointed to the spider web gagging your mouth, you needed to get rid of it and then you would give him all the explanations he needed.

A blushing Peter slowly approached you, stepped around you and in an instant you felt no more pressure. At last you could rest, your jaw and mouth were sore, but it was no surprise to you, what was surprising was that your friend had got rid of the restraint in a second.

Puzzled, you turned to him, who was still in shock and looked a little frightened. He carefully brought his hands to the top of your mask and slowly lifted it, exposing your face.

"I can explain," you said calmly. "I..."

"Oh my god," Peter interrupted you, sitting up in his bed.

"Listen," you shook your head and sat down next to him. "I understand your reaction, it's crazy, I should have explained it to you a lot sooner, but- Wait, how did you get that obnoxious fabric off me so fast?"

Peter put his hands to his head and sighed.

"It's synthetic spider silk," he explained without looking at you. "It's got the gigapascals augmented, with its web you can hold even a car in the air, but-"

"Wait," you stared at him.

Your mind worked fast enough to grasp enough information and connect it in a couple of seconds. You slowly rose slowly from his side and looked at him with a frown.

"What?!" you exclaimed this time. "That's impossible!"

"Yes!" exclaimed Peter getting up and holding his hands to his head. "That's what I was thinking! It's impossible!"

At that instant the door to the room opened revealing a smiling May.

"Peter yo - Hey Y/N!" she greeted with a frown.  "I didn't know you were here. Are you staying for dinner?"

"Hi, May. No, no," you said quickly in a bit of a daze. "Thank you very much, but my mother's expecting me for dinner."

"Okay," she smiled looking you up and down. "Nice suit!" your cheeks took on a ruddy colour. "Peter, dinner in half an hour."

"Thank you May," Peter replied a little shyly.

His aunt closed the door again.

"That's why you were always making excuses for me in the evenings!" you reproached him."And the Stark scholarship! How could I have been so blind?" "And the Stark scholarship! How could I have been so blind?"

"I know, I know," said Peter, as he paced around his room next to you. "By the way, your powers - they're awesome!"

You motioned for him to lower his voice again. This situation was crazy, you didn't know whether to be relieved, to teleport, or to teleport him to a place far away. You leaned your back against the wall, closing your eyes so you could think clearly.He was your best friend, had you been hating your best friend all this time?He was your best friend, had you been hating your best friend all this time? He was your best friend, had you been hating your best friend all this time?  Peter stood in front of you.

"Hey..." he whispered caressing your cheek, the place where your spider web had passed. "If I'd known... If you'd stayed a little longer I'd have taken it off."

You crossed your arms over your chest and looked up at him arching an eyebrow. "This is too much."

You looked straight into those brown eyes, they had been a weakness for you since fifth grade. Besides, his gaze accompanied with the caress of his fingers on your cheek lowered your defences.

"Please stay for dinner. If you want, we can study chemistry later," Peter said almost pleadingly.

"Really?" you asked in confusion. "You want to study chemistry after everything that just happened?"

"Truce?" Peter arched a somewhat hopeful eyebrow.

"You're one of a kind, you stupid spider," you said, unable to hide a grin.

"You stupid spider."

Requests/Taglist Open (DM)

MAIN MASTERLIST

Taglist:  @indigo123789​ @mycosmicparadise​ @imerdwarf​

[hawks-supremacy]

New Beginnings - Drunken Nights

A/N: Here’s part 20, this one is both texts and written. This one was fun to write.

Warnings: Alcohol, Suggestive themes? There’s I think one or two comments.

Word Count: 1.1k

Masterlist

Arriving at the address that Saeko sent you, you knocked on the door and looked around while you waited. As you looked at the one dying potted plant by the door you heard shouting and arguing coming from inside and suddenly regretted saying you were fine with Suga and Noya being there as well. Suddenly the arguing and shouting stopped and you wondered if you should call the cops out of fear that someone was murdered. As you started dialing 119 the door was ripped open to reveal a smiling Saeko. Behind her was a groaning Tanaka as he laid on the ground and you almost thought of hitting the dial button. Deciding he was probably fine you put your phone away and greeted your new found friend. 

Saeko shut the door behind you as you stepped over Tanaka to get into the living room, “Down the hall the first room on your right is mine, you can set your things in there for now.” Saeko said as you looked around the small home. You nodded and went to find the room she gave you directions to. Not remembering if she said the right or the left you went into the room on the left and saw Noya and Suga both laying on the ground in pain. Not wanting to ask questions you slowly and quietly backed out of the room and set your set down in the correct room.

After getting situated you walked back into the living room and noticed that all three boys were now sitting on the couch in the living room clutching ice packs to different areas. You looked to Saeko for answers and she just shook her head in disappointment. You attempted to hold back your laughs but failed as one slipped from your lips. 

After nearly giving themselves whiplash to look up at you Suga and Noya both jumped from the couch to greet you and give you a hug, seemingly forgetting that they were just in pain. You laughed and hugged them back, “Remember what I said about not ruining this night for us?” You asked as you released them from the hug. All three boys vigorously nodded their heads and you smiled, “Good!” You patted their heads as if they were dogs and walked over to the kitchen area where Saeko was making something. “So whatcha making?” You asked, leaning against a counter while plucking a grape from the bowl to eat.

She looked over to you and stifled a laugh before responding, “Well I figured you’d be hungry after your shift so I was waiting for you to make everyone dinner. However, if you want to keep eating the fake decorative grapes that’s fine too.” As she said the last portion you spat out the foam grape and moved quickly to get the taste of manufactured decor out of your mouth. As you did this the boys started laughing at your expense and Suga quickly snapped a photo for blackmail later.

“In my defense, who the hell has fake food as a decoration? That’s more misleading than a catfish on Tinder.” You huffed as you poured yourself a glass of water and downed it. “So do you need help with anything? What are we making?” You moved to wash your hands so you could help prepare and make supper but Saeko just shook her head and told you to relax and sit down because she was nearly done anyway. Groaning dramatically and not wanting to argue with her you hoisted yourself up onto the counter to sit down.

“Hey Y/n how was your snack?” Noya asked as he kneeled on the couch to converse with you. “They probably enjoyed it to be honest.” Tanaka chimed in leaning on the back of the couch next to Noya. “I’ve heard plenty of times that they’ve had worse things in their mouth.” Suga butt in, not bothering to turn around. 

You spit out the mouth full of water you had just tried to drink but was interrupted by Suga’s comment. “Sugawara Koushi! That was unnecessary!” You yelled as you chucked a few of the decorative fruits at him. He laughed as the soft foam hit him. You turned away from them feeling your face getting awfully red from your private life being shared. “You know what I think this counts as ruining the night.” Upon hearing your comment the other boys turned to Suga and started hitting him and telling him to apologize. Still turned away from them you covered your mouth trying not to laugh as you heard Suga’s pleas and calls for help. Breaking up the small fight that was going on Saeko announced that it was time to eat.

After dinner and everyone helping clean up, the boys retreated back to Tanaka’s room to play video games while you and Saeko stayed in the living room laughing as you poured your sixth glass of wine for the night. “No really! He was sleeping with my best friend for 5 months, and then when I caught them he still tried to say he wasn’t!” You laughed as you explained your last relationship. 

Saeko threw her head back as she laughed, “Oh my gosh! What a dick! I wish we were friends then, I would’ve taught him a lesson.” She stood up and proceeded to punch the air in demonstration. You laughed at her antics and asked her about her past relationships as she sat down. She gave you a brief run down of her few that ended poorly and said the rest were all mutual agreements or just a fwb type deal. Then she asked what was going on with you and coach Ukai saying Ryu was telling her about the tension between you both. 

You groaned as you thought of a response, “That bitch! I swear to God he’s going to be running laps the whole practice next week. Anyway, there’s not really anything going on between us I guess. I had a crush on him in high school and it went nowhere. I mean I have a small crush on him now but that’s about it, I honestly don’t think it’s gonna go anywhere this time either. I might just give up on it to be honest.”

After a few more hours of talking and getting to know each other you decided to drunkenly do face masks and go to bed seeing it was getting late and you both had to work tomorrow. You both stumbled into her room giggling about nothing before settling into bed and saying goodnight to each other. After laying down for thirty minutes you heard Saeko’s soft snores and got bored of staring at the ceiling. You sighed and pulled out your phone before doing something that future you was going to be pissed at you for.

Tag List:

@that-chick212  @elianetsantana @halesandy @katsuhera @ilauvcoldpizza @coffeeaddictedmay @sevenlol @1-800-sharpshootershifty​ @5sos-wdw @katxsukishima @kookie-doughs @mer-majesty

[hime-memes]

( Requested ) This long list of starters comes from the youtube content creator: Nisipisa ! In particular, the video: ‘ Let’s Go Window Shopping 6: Crimes Against Pants with Shein ‘

Trigger Warnings: Sexual Innuendo, Alcohol & Drug Mentions and Swearing.

As always: feel free to change anything within these starters that you see fit to make it work for your muse & the receiver’s muse !

( Some sentences have been modified for length, understanding, or to give fuller context. )

“ First of all, these shorts ? I’m living for the whole outfit. I appreciate _____ finding a use for trashbags that’s not just holding trash. “

“ ... I don’t have enough brain bandwidth to actually hold enough information about it ... “

“ People deserve access to clothing in their size. 100 %. “

“ I’m already kinda impressed. “

“ This is a pretty dress & this is a pretty dress. That’s pretty ! That’s ... passable ? “ 

“ We had a lot of fun last time with t-shirts. “

“ Oh my god. Oh god ... Oh yes ! This is our first graphic tee of the day. “

“ It’s a crew neck in the ugliest shade of purple known to human or lobster eyes. “

“ Sorry: #Momlife. “ 

“ You can make sure your search engine optimization is as powerful as possible when you’re waiting in line to check out at Target™ for the fourth time this week. “ 

“ I didn’t mean to shame anybody that spends three days out of their week at Target™. “

“ If there wasn’t a panna cotta going on, that would be me. It’s my favorite place in the goddamn world ! “

“ It’s second only to shoe stores that sell a size twelve ! “ 

“ As we all know - I am not a mother and will likely biologically never be one, because God looked at me and said, ‘ If I give you a reproductive system, you’re going to be too powerful ‘ and so, he just nuked my uterus. “

“ I don’t find that this t - shirt celebrates motherhood in any meaningful way. “ 

“ I do think it celebrates having bad taste in a meaningful way. “

“ You know what ? For some people: That’s enough. “ 

“ ... We aren’t going to address why having a cutout tight might be useful ... “

“ And THIS is the sexiest shoe we could have put my girl in ?! “

“  You guys put her in this conservative nightmare heel ?! “

“ I like that ______ thinks you should wear all these graphic tees with light wash mom jeans and converse low tops. “

“ I think every website should encourage it’s patrons to dress like the main character of a Sarah Dessen novel from 2007. “

“ There’s some high schooler in a debate club that’s really into it. It’s kinda their whole personality, and they’re like: ‘ This is so ironically funny for me ‘. “

“ In the year of our Lord, 2008: I started high school and my absolute favorite shirt to wear was a shirt quite like this. “

“ It looked like I was wearing long sleeves under short sleeves when in reality, I was wearing a crime. “

“  Have you ever tried layering ? Like, actual layering ? It sucks ! “ 

“ You’re kidding ! A double whammy in the same row ? Oh my god ... “ 

“ ... We have also inexplicably made the model hit this pose. “

“ The person who needs these pants is someone who likes to go out and party - likes to go to the club - but, they are also the president of a fan club for Shar Pei dogs. “

“ You know what dogs I think are cute ? ( * Googles favorite dog * ) Just look at this guy ! “ 

“ Look at these pointy bastards ! “

“ This is like if you had a bat and you did a spell on it to make it a dog ! “ 

“ These ... Now THIS is a pair of pants ! “

“  Clinically depressed, stressed jeans. “

“  You take leopard print fabric and sew it into your distressed holes. “

“ You don’t have to frankenstein it into this type of fit ... this is kinda like how a hypebeast would dress if they were in elementary school. “

“ If you put a bow on this and a tutu: this is me and my girls rolling up to the Jojo Siwa concert. “

“ Am I saying I wouldn’t wear these shorts ? No, I’m not saying that at all - I would wear the fuck outta these shorts ! “

“  As we’ve established: my taste is awful. “ 

“ Do you think in 1503, when Lisa del Giocondo sat down to start being painted for this portrait - she thought in a couple hundred years some random fast fashion brand would take her likeness, photoshop a face mask on it ... and sell it on a graphic t - shirt ? “

“ The only responsibilities I had were watching Rugrats and learning object permanence. “

“ Stop living in the past. The future is fun because my videos are in it ! “

“ This little cherry top, I think I’d probably wear. I think it’s very sweet ! “

“  I’m so weak to anything with a grid print. “ 

“ I’m going to think about this shirt for the rest of my life ... “

“ What exactly does a lil’ house elf from Harry Potter™ have to do with this ? “

“ I do feel like this floral print will cause my brain to atrophy if I look at it too long. “ 

“ Rosé is not the only wine to rhyme with ‘ all day ‘. Rosé isn’t even good ! “

“ You know what ? I don’t work for _______, so it’s fine. It’s not my responsibility ! “ 

“ Hey guys, you having fun at mushroom college ? “

“ I saw two things: The crotch butterfly and the booty butterfly and now I’m thinking these are the only clothes anyone should ever wear. Ever. “ 

“ NOT THE ‘ SEX ’ EARRINGS !? YES ! “ 

“ This is brazenly and offensively targeting a very very very specific group of people that I went to my preppy college with and I don’t appreciate that. “

“ I’ve worn spaghetti sauce stained yoga pants to bed that are sexier than this ! “

“ I’d wear the fuck outta this. “

“ I don’t know what I can say ... the picture speaks for itself, this is awful ! “

“ I’ve been saying for the longest time there is absolutely no store online that I can find articles of clothing for my single, mid-western, art teacher from the 70s, halloween costume. Finally someone is filling that niche ! “

“ This is absolutely unprecedented, because _______ decided to take something that, not only didn’t exist, but that no one has ever asked for and make it a reality. “ 

“ They think to themselves: ‘ Man - I love leopard print and I love galaxy print: but, I wish there was some way I could experience them at the same time, in an orientation that looks like the very beginnings of a DMT trip, and I wish I could experience all that whilst exercising. “

“  This is so tacky that I wanna wear it. “ 

“ Lord - Jesus, life is so beautiful. and full ... and amazing ! “ 

“ Curse allttle and carra fu///ng ON. “

“ The Rocky Horror Picture Show did not die for our sins for you to make this, okay ____ ? “

“ I feel like the person that wears this is a representative from the International Coalition of Clowns that are also Sexy. “

“ I want the opposite of this: I want a pink pastel frilly one piece that just says across the front of it, in like Curlz MT font : ‘ Death ‘. “

“ Listen, I don’t know what font that is, but I would like President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris to outlaw it. I don’t think it does society any good. “ 

“ I heart freak city ? “

“ Uh yeah, I live on Drip Goth Punk street. “

“ Is that near Superfreak Sexy Gurl lane ? “ 

“ We have a big snake problem here in Boston and I’m glad _____ is finally recognizing this. “

“ Mama. “ * Cue insane cackling * 

“ This shirt says ‘ heart stopper ’ ... that’s me when I’m a serial killer ! “ 

“ That’s so topical and current ! Thank you, _______. “ 

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Okay so Sooga can't cook. But can Master Kohga cook? And would he try to teach Sooga, for a bit of domestic fluff goodness??

Imma make this as fluffy as I can for you, anon! I’m gonna be SUPER busy, so some asks will probably be on the back burner. Having said that, Imma dip into these when I can because you guys have SUCH good ideas?? 

Also It’s not that Sooga can’t cook, he just can’t cook WELL. Stuff is always off with his cooking. Too salty, too sweet, undercooked, SOMETHING. Kohga is picky so he notices. Either way, let’s GO!

“Urbosa! Get over here!”

Kohga (as well as the champions) had been spending all day together in the kitchen (upon prompting from Zelda), and Kohga had more or less commanded the cooking area. When Kohga wasn’t busy killing people or sleeping, he was being a rather pleasant company to have around. He started off by making drinks, and Sooga offered to help. Which was apparently a bit of a mistake. Urbosa sighed as she left the table, and walked behind the counter. Kohga motioned to two cups.

“You try one, and tell me which one has alcohol in it.”

Urbosa tried one, then another, lightly shaking her head.

“One on the left? Right one tastes just like juice.”

Kohga motioned wildly to the cups, as if they made a scientific discovery.

“Ha! See, that’s the thing! BOTH do! Somehow!”

“I...don’t put enough alcohol, that’s the hint I’m getting.”

“No matter how many times I shove MY dick in THAT ass, he makes drinks like a FUCKING virgin! You know what, get a fucking apron on, I’m teaching you how to be competent in the kitchen. You can’t JUST have a top notch cock, you dumbshit.”

Kohga turned around to get them both an apron, and Urbosa chuckled at his puzzled reaction.

“Hey, he does have a point. Everyone should learn how to cook. Besides, him being this upset just means he really loves you.”

“Don’t you DARE make me out to be mushy, Urbosa!”

Kohga walked back up to them, throwing a pink apron at Sooga’s face. Urbosa chuckled as Kohga put his own on. It was clear she was right, but the relationship was still new to him, so he was still in denial of his feelings. Urbosa grabbed one of the drinks (Kohga’s, obviously), and shrugged.

“I’ll just be taking this then, carry on love birds.”

Kohga lifted a finger to retort, before Urbosa turned around and joined Daruk back at the table. Kohga waved her off, muttering something under his breath. Sooga couldn’t help but smile.

“You’re just charming, Master Kohga.”

“Save the sweet for the cooking, tits mcgee.”

Kohga patted his left tit, before going to the sink and washing his hands, Sooga following suit.

“So? What will we be making?”

“Good question. What do you WANT to make?”

“Hmm...what’s something YOU like?”

“Kiss ass.”

Kohga chuckled, drying his hands with a towel. Sooga honestly just lived for Kohga, and it was terribly sweet of him.

“Alright, let’s do crepes with fried bananas.”

Sooga nodded, more than confident enough to prove himself. Kohga dug into the cabinets to grab everything (with help from Sooga. Tall bastard), before Kohga put two bowls in front of them.

“Now, follow me. We’re gonna add a cup of the tabantha flour. Then, a tablespoon of sugar.”

“I always thought it was a cup of both.”

“No wonder you always burn those fuckers- that much sugar burns it, you dumbshit. Now, not everyone does this, but they SHOULD. Add some salt, help balance out. If you think a food doesn’t need SOME salt, you’re wrong.”

Sooga nodded along, carefully listening and following his instructions, as if this was a training session. 

“How did you learn all this?”

“Mom taught me. She loved cooking, but she worked hard, so sometimes she was too tired to cook. When I got older, I ended up doing the cooking around the house. You only get better the more you do it. Except YOUR drinks, you’re hopeless.”

“Like my love for you.”

“Iean down, imma smack you upside the head.”

Sooga chuckled, watching his little master grumble to himself. Kohga took out another bowl, and added milk, as well as an egg.

“Now. You mix the wet and the dry together.”

“Why not just do it all together to begin with?”

“Lumps, you get lots of ‘em if you do that.”

Sooga nodded, watching as Kohga mixed the ingredients in their separate bowls. Sooga could watch Kohga cook all day, if he let him. Sooga copied Kohga as they mixed the dry and wet together, whisking it till it was nice and liquidy.

“It’s supposed to be this liquidy?”

“Yeah, any thicker and it’s a pancake. Now, we’re gonna put this in the fridge for as long as we can, get some flavor out of it.”

“What do we do while we wait?”

Sooga took the bowls, and put them in the fridge, just in time to catch Kohga grabbing bananas and putting them on a cutting board.

“We prep everything else. This should be easy for you. I need you to cut all these in little squares. And listen to me while I show you what I’m doing, but be careful.”

“Afraid I’ll cut myself?”

Sooga grinned as he peeled the bananas, starting to cut. One thing Sooga was VERY good at in the kitchen, was cutting. Always clean, always uniform. Kohga dug into the bag of sugar that he had at his side, and tossed a bit towards Sooga’s apron. Wasteful? A bit, but Sooga’s dumb smile was getting on his nerves.

“If you don’t, at this point I will. Now, I’m gonna throw some butter in this pan, and we’re gonna add the bananas here soon as you’re done. This, and some whipped cream, is gonna be our filling.”

“Doesn’t it burn if it’s hot?”

“If you actually know how it works, no.”

Sooga was careful not to cut himself as he watched Kohga throw butter, sugar, and some spices onto the pan. He watched as the sugar browned slightly, and Kohga motioned for Sooga to pour the fruit in. Once it was inside, Kohga handed him the spatula.

“Now, keep mixing it. Don’t change the temp, don’t let it sit.”

Sooga watched as Kohga grabbed a bag of acorns and chickaloo tree nuts. He cracked them surprisingly effortlessly in his hands, quickly and efficiently separating the shells from the insides. Sooga found it hard to pay attention to the pan, and his Master’s hands. How did hands so soft and lovely make such hard work look so easy?

“Is that going in the batter?”

“No, with the bananas. Adds some crunch, and a little bit of sweet.”

Kohga’s arm pushed against him as he added the nuts to the pan, motioning for Sooga to keep going. 

“Now, this is just how I like it, but we’re gonna add a swig of apple juice. Adds a BIT of tart, because this is going to be sweet as hell. Especially since we’re gonna add a touch of rum, to taste.”

“...Master Kohga?”

“Don’t tell me I lost you already, big guy.”

“Just in your eyes, Master Kohga.”

Kohga looked up at him, and reached his hand up, pushing him away a bit.

“You are SO mushy. No wonder you can’t cook right, you’re too busy ogling me all damn day.”

“You make it quite hard to focus.”

He chuckled. He kept mixing, as he was instructed. Kohga added butter to the pan, shaking his head at Sooga’s stupidity. He was just, such a lovestruck idiot. Once the butter started to lightly bubble, Kohga dug into the fridge, bringing out the batter.

“Okay, let’s start the important part. You can turn that off, cover it with the pot lid. I’m gonna let you do the first one. Three tablespoons into the pan.”

Kohga gave him the proper pouring tool, and Sooga obeyed. He was about to ask what to do next, when Kohga held onto his hand, helping him turn the pan. Sooga could chuckle like a lovesick fool right now, honestly. He really did have nice, soft hands, and Sooga wanted to hold them forever.

“Tilt to get it everywhere. Nice and slow, get it everywhere. Three minutes, then flip. Anymore and it’s like eating a damn ear. Speaking of ears, are you listening?”

“To every word, Master Kohga. Every single, solitary word.”

Kohga turned to look at him, finally seeing why he sounded more stupid than usual. He was SWOONING. Literally looking at him, and SWOONING like an idiot. Kohga scoffed, flipping the crepe for him.

“Alright, then listen to this. See how it’s got a nice, brown crust? We want it kinda crispy.”

Kohga let Sooga ogle him for three minutes, before finally taking it out of the pan, setting it onto a table.

“Taste it.”

“You?”

“W-no, the crepe you dingbat!”

Even Kohga had to chuckle at that. It’s why Kohga never let his ass watch him cook, it was just. All of this. They split the crepe, and Sooga nodded.

“You’re truly wonderful, Master Kohga. It’s lovely.”

“Good. Now, you’re turn, all by yourself.”

Kohga was going to step back, but Sooga’s puppy dog eyes kept him standing right there. Sooga added the batter to the pan, carefully turning the mixture till it coated the whole pan. He waited the three minutes, before flipping it. Kohga nodded in approval.

“Good crust, good crust. Keep it going.”

And that’s exactly what he did. Kohga sat there, watching his Sooga make crepe after crepe, and Kohga couldn’t help but chuckle. He was constantly asking if it was okay, constantly peering over him for approval. Honestly, if Kohga told this man to get him a piece of the moon, Sooga wouldn’t hesitate to reach for the stars. Soon enough, there wasn’t any mix left, in turn, leaving quite a stack of crepes. Kohga flipped through the stack, nodding.

“Better. Though some are a bit darker than others. We’ll work on that. Now, best part.”

Kohga placed one on the plate, added a hefty dollop of cream and honey, then folded it into a nice triangle like shape. Sooga watched him carefully, clearly wanting it to be perfect. Kohga folded another with cream and honey, then another. His usual was three at a time, but he might just have more (to support Sooga of course). He topped it off with the banana mixture, and dusted it with powdered sugar, just to make it look good. Sooga followed his stead, though he didn’t do it so cleanly. Folding it was hard for him apparently, causing him to get whipped cream all over his fingers, and even on his mask. It was a sloppy plate, but it was Sooga’s plate. Kohga shook his head once he saw the state of Sooga.

“For the love of- get over here, idiot.”

Kohga grabbed a hold of his face, wiping the cream off of his mask. Sooga sat there, letting him do so with such loving eyes. It was totally gross, in a sweet way.

“Master Kohga?”

“If the question is ‘am I an idiot’, then absolutely.”

Sooga chuckled, lightly shaking his head.

“I just...thank you. I enjoy listening to you when you teach. You love what you do, and there���s something so absolutely beautiful about that.”

“Yeah yeah...well. I like teaching you. You’re eager to learn.”

“I’m eager for YOU, Master Kohga.”

“Well geez Sooga, I know I’m pretty sweet, but-”

Before Kohga could finish his retort, Sooga suddenly lifted him off the floor, lifting their masks up a bit, and kissing him, right in his gorgeous lips. Was it a bit much, nearly throwing Kohga onto the counter and leering over him to kiss him? Absolutely, but neither seemed to care in the slightest. Just for a minute, they were there in an embrace, as sweet as sweet could be. Totally ignoring the table of people just a few feet away. Daruk lightly coughed, trying to ignore the fact that Sooga’s tight grip on his Master’s ass was smearing whipped cream everywhere.

“I...don’t think we’re gonna be eatin’ anything any time soon.”

[internalsealpanic]

I Will be Your Tim Drake for Tonight (1) (Jason Todd/ Reader)

Summary:  Preferring to do anything but your physics project, you decide to accepts Tim’s proposal. It’s simple. He does your project, you try to figure out whether Jason Sionis is criminal. Easy, right?

masterlist

A/n: This takes place in a world where Jason is adopted by Black Mask. Inspired by Building Interest by Zoeleo.

The events and characterization in this story are very heavily based on Zoeleo's Long Term Investment series. It is fantastic and I really highly recommend all of her fics.

a/n: For clarification, Reader does have psychic powers but it only lets her sense people's emotions physically. No mind-reading. Her power is more like an overactive sense of empathy which may force her to dissociate into someone else.

There will be violence and mentions of alcoholism (used as coping mechanism for physical pain) and chronic pain.  

As for the additional warning, an animal is harmed but it is barely described. I could not bring myself to actual describe it but the aftermath is described.

I also just converted this from an OC so I apologize for any grammatical mistakes.

Without further a do: 

Your skin itches as you make your way through the crowd. It wasn't the suit. After all, Alfred Pennyworth was incapable of doing wrong. It was the sea of hands patting your back, petting your head, and pinching your cheeks made every inch of skin want to slough off. Tim owed you. He owed you big time. Then again he's back at the manor tackling your physics project and making sure Gotham doesn't set itself on fire while Batman is on  ‘vacation’.

You should be fine. It’s not like Brucie asked you to investigate a suspected criminal who also happens to be Roman Sionis’ heir. Nope, no pressure there. Thanks Bruce. You’re clad in blue contacts, a black wig, makeup, and a stolen suit. As safe as you felt in someone else's skin, you still felt like you were gonna fall over. Maybe it's because you were dumb enough not to bring your cane.

The room was dizzyingly full of people. Your mind goes haywire. Jumping from one mind to the next. Dipping into every emotion it could stick itself into. It was almost overwhelming enough for you to forget about the ache in your leg. You knew this night was gonna be far longer than you could stand.  You needed a drink. Or 9.

"Hey, no drinking! You're underaged!" Dick nearly shrieked, plucking your fifth(?) flute of champagne. You wouldn't be in a few months. Really he was being quite unreasonable to the drunk person in front of him. Looking him dead in the eyes,  you wave another server over and take 2 flutes of champagne.  "I'm fine Dick. I've drunken harder stuff than this."

"No," Dick said firmly snatching the 2 flutes from your hand.

"Big bro pleeeaaasee" You drawl sweetly knowing Dick was a sucker for that move.  Dick tries to look unmoved but you could see in the slump of his shoulders that he wanted to give in.  "I'm having an episode," The word episode felt strange and wrong but there really was no other way to describe it. "and I don't have any painkillers on me." You added hastily.  

"Fiiine-" Dick whines, resolve crumbling to dust. Handing back only one flute of champagne, he scolds: "Just don't get shit faced. We're here on a mission."

"Yes, motheeeer,"

Without missing a beat, you down it, feeling the tearing in your head beginning to fade.

"Jesus, calm down," Dick said taking the now empty flute from you.  

You are less than surprised by the fact that he isn't fazed by being called mother at this point. It might just be the alcohol. The Powers might not understand the concept of fun but they sure do have taste in alcohol.

While Dick lectures you on safe alcohol consumption and Babs laughs unhelpfully, You feel the press of another person's mind.  The other 2 seem to notice it too. Being pulled out of their reverie, they turn to greet them.

"Target at 2'oclock" Babs whispers but your mind had for some reason forgotten how English worked. Instead, it drifted to the simple mind coming closer to them. Almost too quickly,  you dropped down to your knees. Your joints complained but you could feel your mind smooth as you placed a gentle hand on the dog's fur.

The dog whuffs with glee as if to say "Yes! There! Pat there!".

Absorbed in the dog's uncomplicated happiness, you began to piece yourself back together and the pain in your head receded.

" Who's a good girl? You are! You are!"

The dog yips happily. Its smooshed face pressing into your hand. You forget the party until-

Dick coughs clearing his throat, laughter bright in his blue eyes.

You, for the first time, notice the person beside the dog. It was their target, Jason Sionis,  stretching out his hand to shake yours.  

"Oh- Uh- it's just your dog- She's- Hi, I'm Tim Drake." you shoot up to shake his hand. You notice the patches of scabs and scars on his knuckles. You’re pretty sure Dick or Tim could give him a run for his money if they didn't have makeup on. Though that just might speak more to their-as Damian puts it- incompetence.

Your eyes flicker to Dick momentarily as he tries so hard not to laugh.

"Well, it was nice to make your acquaintance," Jason says flatly as he turns his attention to Dick and Babs for a more coherent discussion.  You weren’t entirely certain that you offended him but you were probably close.

You want to say that it's his eyes that you notice first. They were a striking shade of ultramarine,  a terrifying facsimile of the ocean. They made you shudder. You would have rather noticed how nicely he filled out his suit. The man was made of muscle under that well-tailored suit.  You file the image for further appreciation later.  But, unfortunately, you are far too accustomed to checking your brothers for wounds for your eyes to not immediately flicker towards the scar on his face. It takes everything in you not to stare at the scar cleaving down the flesh of his cheek rigging the right side of his face into a permanent grin. Thankfully, he leaves them saying something about having business somewhere else.

Sure, the guy falls into Gotham’s pattern of ruining your face and turning to a life of crime but so far he hasn’t really shown anything concrete.   Plus, he’s really nice to his dog. No one that nice to a dog could possibly be the Red Death, Black Mask’s shiniest, and rumored to be his most brutal, new enforcer. Then again, your mother always did treat Anatoli like a king.

"Tim was right. You can act like him. You even got him shoving his own foot in his mouth down pat. Great job. " Dick chuckles patting you on the shoulder jostling you out of your thoughts.

You sigh. "The next time I go undercover I'm going alone. I don't even know why you're here."

"I think you've demonstrated why."  

You- annoyed, embarrassed, and feeling the marching in your skull coming back- jab "Alright Fabio , you befriend Mr.Pretty boy-" .  

"That's pretty mean eve-"

"I didn't mean it to be mean-"you honestly didn't but you were byelingual at this point.  "-I think he's pretty. Scars are sexy and all of that carp. "

"I am very concerned."  

"You should be. I'm out of booze and the dog just walked away. " you hissed rubbing the side of your head before stomping off to look for more drinks.

You feel your head jack rabbiting again. The staff had, as per some evil person's request (Likely Dick or maybe Babs), cut you off from the booze. You find yourself wandering around until your feet take you outside. The cool night air and the nearly freezing bricks sooth you warmed skin as you slide against it.  

"What? Did you come out 'ere to watch my dog piss?" a slightly familiar baritone voice chuckled.  

"As fun as that sounds, I just escaped Dick Grayson. I believe that, in itself, is reason enough to go outside and take in the 'fresh' Gotham night air. " you snark, looking up expecting him to grin at you but was greeted with a look of concern. You’ve seen it before. Your hand almost automatically makes its way to your nose.  You felt a thick liquid brush against the pads of your fingers. If you looked at them, you’d likely see them covered in blood.

You shrug and brush your deep red sleeve against your face. You probably didn't get all of it based on the crooked grin on his face.

"Shit kid, they'll think I punched you." Jason chuckles good-naturedly. You know he's not nervous. He’s charming enough to talk his way out of it.

"Relax, Dick will likely say I deserved it if they do think you punched me but that is highly unlikely seeing these episodes are an open secret after I bled on Mrs. Yavorski's satin dress a few years ago. "  

"Well, in that case, you want a smoke? Should take the edge off." Jason says it as a joke holding out a pack of cigarettes to you. Everyone knows Wayne kids are good kids.

You, feeling particularly cheeky, take the cigarette between his lip and take a long drag, inhaling and letting your eyes slide close.

He makes a quiet choking noise. Away from the sea of minds, you can feel his eyes on you. Wide and disbelieving. A cocktail of interest, embarrassment, excitement, and delight swirls in his mind. It might have been attraction or it might just have been amusement. You shouldn't be too surprised by the reaction. Tim is quite the knock out even when he looks dead on his feet. His confusion only lasts five seconds before you cough out   "Christ, it's just as bad as Bruce said it was."

You hand him back the cigarette laughing and coughing into your sleeve.

"So, did your brother tell you to apologize?" He says, clearing his throat not really looking you in the eyes. You can still see the faint speck of color on his face.

"Well,  he didn't say it. He doesn’t really have to and I do have manners contrary to popular belief. Plus! In my defense, your dog is cute. "

"Lizzie is, isn't she?" Jason smiles patting Lizzie on her head. It was a soft gesture. Something you really didn't expect from a supposedly hardened criminal let alone someone raised by Roman Sionis.

You crouch down to Lizzie's level and put your hands on the dog's face. Lizzie happily nuzzles into your hands.  

"You have a dog?"

" Depends, does Dick count?"

Jason snorts. "Do you ever think before you speak?"

"Not when I'm drunk and bleeding, no."

"How drunk are you?"

You mime counting.  "As far as Dick knows, I'm 1 to 2 flutes drunk. As far as the staff knows, I'm 7 flutes drunk."

"I should probably get you back to your brother then" Jason laughs, pulling you by the arm. You notice for the first time just how big his hands really are.  

"No, I-"

Gunshots. Pain. Panic. They ring in equal measure to you as a black van pulls up in the alley.

"Fuck! Box!"

A man in a dark suit crumples to the ground. You recognize him. He was part of Jason's security team. In a flurry of movement, Jason's by his side. You think he's checking the injuries- which in your opinion is at once the smartest and dumbest move you could do in this situation- but he-is in fact-checking for a gun.  

Gun in hand, Jason begins shooting at the men.

You think to grab a stray brick or something but you knew your best chance was to crouch low and maybe convince Jason to do the same. But based on the murder radiating from him, that was highly unlikely.

Lizzie runs out in front of them to protect Box and Jason. It goes as well as expected.  

Lizzie whines into your touch. The tendrils of your mind desperately trying to keep Lizzie there. You want to scream. Your mind surges trying to dip into someone else but Jason's anger and grief consume you. You want to charge at them, rip their throats out, tear them limb from limb. But it's Jason who does it. His body launches forward faster than you could speak.

The men in masks were just as fast. One of them incapacitates him with a well-placed metal pipe to the head. His whole body hits the pavement with one loud thud. Your breath catches.  

"There's two of them,"

"What do you mean there's two of them?"

"The boss said black hair, blue eyes, and a fucked up face"

"Did he say what kind of fucked up?"

"Not really"

You want to squawk about how nosebleeds don't really count. Given,  it is bleeding like it’s auditioning to be the next Niagara falls.

"Just take them both!" barks a rough voice from the van.  

You think to make a break for it but fast as you are(not really). Your head was still ringing and you couldn't really take them out on your own.

You hold your hands up in surrender. "I'll go quietly. I know the drill. "

The men look at each other clearly confused by your cooperation but not really willing to question it.

They throw cuffs on your wrist and literally throw you into the van like a sack of potatoes. Not that they treat Jason any better. He looks dizzy and pale.

"Are you-"

With a heave, he throws up on "your" shoes. You want to laugh. You really do. You also just want to cry.  

Tim is going to kill you. No, Alfred will. If you’re lucky-which you never are- Dick will suffocate you with a hug before they ever get to you.  

Maybe just maybe, the kidnappers will do it for you.

Yeah, right.

[thrill-cfthechase]

feelin’ twenty-two

tw: pregnancy, death, alcoholism, verbal abuse, creepy men

november 4th was elliot’s least favorite day of the year. it was never a day of celebration in the chase household, instead a day of forced smiles and words left unspoken. it was her birthday, but it was never preceded by a ‘happy.’ it was a somber occasion, a day of mourning. when she was young the people in her neighborhood would get her a cake and little gifts to make up for the party that her father never threw, but she could tell they were behaving differently than they did on other kids’ birthdays. she was nearly four when she found out that her mother had died after giving birth to her, and while she didn’t understand death, she knew she had done something wrong. on her fourth birthday she threw a fit. it was a nasty tantrum that the chases and all of sunset park tried to forget, but elliot would always remember the first time she remembered thinking i want my mom.

she wasn’t sure how old she was when her father stopped acknowledging her birthday, but she could tell he knew what day it was because he was always even drunker and angrier than usual and able to find new and creative ways to get mad at her that didn’t involve the death of her mother. her brothers would take her out for ice cream and she would eat her mint chocolate chip in silence while they watched her, foreheads etched with concern. some years they saved up enough money to buy her a gift, but she would never play with it. she didn’t feel like it was deserved. on her seventh birthday her brothers took her mini-golfing and they let her win. it made her furious. they never took it easy on her ever, and the last thing she wanted was for them to coddle her. she just wanted it to be like every other day. that night she found her oldest brother, tucker, crying. he was fourteen and far too proud to let people see him cry, one of many traits of toxic masculinity that managed to make it’s way into elliot. she didn’t know what to do or how to comfort him so she said nothing and went to her room, staring at the cracks in the ceiling above her bed until the sun rose the next morning.

by her twelfth birthday tucker had moved out for college, and that year her other brother, forrest, had a soccer game in a town two hours away. she got a confetti cake from her next door neighbor, mrs. casey, and spent the evening doing homework in her room while she ignored the sound of her father yelling at the tv. elliot thought she was being sneaky when she tiptoed into the kitchen to get another slice of cake for dinner, that the tv would mask any noise she made despite the fact that the la-z boy her father sat at was only a few feet away from the fridge. when he turned to tell her to give him another beer she was so startled that she dropped her cake on the floor. as she sat on the cold tiles and cleaned up the mess she’d made the drumming of her heartbeat in her ears was almost loud enough to drown out the insults being thrown at her. when forrest got home that night he made a joke about elliot not saving him any cake. she told him to go fuck himself and he called her a bitch. she still hates funfetti.

the night of elliot’s sixteenth birthday was spent in a stolen dress at a hotel bar downtown with a man twice her age. she pretended to believe he wasn’t married and he pretended to believe she was twenty-one. they talked for a few hours, with elliot at her most charming and gracious in a way that people who really knew her would find laughable. she was still new to this type of con, the kind that required her to be a lady, but it worked, and she left with his watch, two credit cards, and four hundred in cash. she was gone by the time he realized anything was missing. when she got home her father seemed surprised to see her, like he hadn’t realized she wasn’t in her room all night. he had never seen elliot in makeup before, and the fact that he was now seeing it at two in the morning didn’t seem to sit right with him. “if your mother was here she’d be so disappointed in you. but she’s not here, is she?” it might have been the most tame thing he said to her, but felt like the cruelest by far. those were the words that echoed in her head as she lay awake in bed with gus, her fourteen year old dog, asleep on her chest. he weighed twenty-five pounds but the weight on her lungs didn’t bother her - the ability to breathe didn’t seem particularly important.

elliot’s twentieth birthday was a little over two months into her first year at gallagher. she didn’t intend on telling anyone, but it felt strange to be another year older in a place that still felt foreign to her. she confided in the two people she had grown to truly trust - ellie and kass. kass even baked her a cake, and something compelled elliot to give her a hug. she wasn’t usually physically affectionate, but no one had baked her a cake in years, and she couldn’t help feeling a little sentimental. as soon as kass left she had to scrape the “happy birthday” off the cake so that no one else could see it, but for the first time she could remember, she was a little glad it was her birthday.

~

elliot looked at her phone. november 4th, 2020, 12:01 a.m. the two hardest things for her to say were ‘i love you’ and ‘i’m sorry,’ but on this day she felt the need to say both to her brothers.

“hey, i know u don’t like it when i apologize on this day, but it’s my birthday and that’s what i want to say. i’m sorry u lost her. thanks for never telling me it was my fault. i love u,” she texted them.

it was only nine o’clock in seattle and she immediately got a text back from her oldest brother. “you’re going to dismiss everything i say, but i need you to know that i love you. raising you has made me the man i am today, which is cheesy but it’s true. it’s not fair to you that you had to deal with all of my mistakes, but i believe that learning from them is what will make me a good father. losing mom is probably the worst thing that ever happened to me, but getting you was the best.” a single tear fell down elliot’s cheek and she quickly wiped it away and buried her face in spruce’s fur. her phone buzzed again with another text from tucker. “well, mia is the best thing now, but you held the title for a long time. i love you smelliot.” she cracked a smile and sent back a quick “love u too fucker.” it took her a long time to fall asleep, although that wasn’t unusual for her, and she dreamed of memories that didn’t belong to her.

she didn’t have any expectations for her birthday, but she was pleasantly surprised. levi wished her a happy birthday, and she only vaguely remembered telling him accidentally while drunk and wasn’t sure if she’d mentioned how little she cared for the day, but he didn’t make a big deal out of it and for that she was grateful. she was surprised when rowan wished her a happy birthday - elliot didn’t feel deserving of her kindness, but it still felt good. she got her annual cake from kass, delicious as always, and she tried to not think about the fact that this time next year kass wouldn’t be there and she wouldn’t have a homemade cake to deface. she also got a cake from asher, who had made one for her last year as well when they were dating, and a cupcake from reese. it was a lot of baked goods to explain to people, but stuffing her face with cake helped elliot feel a little better. one thing about having roommates was that they tended to know things about you that you might not want them to know, but she wasn’t too worried about ella making a big deal of things. she definitely hadn’t anticipated receiving a hamburger with a lit birthday candle in it, and it both made her laugh and tasted delicious. she was laying on her bed doing homework when alex walked in, unannounced and uninvited (rude) and gave her not only a bag of hot cheetos but also a knife engraved with what according to alex was the state flower of california (the opposite of rude). she didn’t really know what to say to him other than the thing she had managed to say all day long: thank you. it wasn’t her favorite thing to say, she wasn’t known for being particularly courteous, but she meant it. she was thankful to know that the few people who knew about her birthday had bothered to tell her they cared. on most days elliot would think of course they care, i’m me, but this day made her feel small. luckily for her, she had friends who reminded her otherwise.

~

elliot looked at her phone. november 5th, 2020, 12:00 a.m. it was over, and she was relieved. she wasn’t quite sure if it had been a happy birthday, but it seemed like in the past few years it had become less and less of a sad one. she was lying in bed, spruce fast asleep and snoring under one arm. “i’m sorry,” she whispered to nothing and no one. perhaps she was saying it to herself. she put her phone down and curled up beside spruce. as she waited for sleep to come she thought of her mother, of the woman who had been described to her and the woman she’d imagined she was. elliot thought back to all the times her brothers had told her how excited their mother was for elliot to be born and the time her aunt told her she was sure her mother had loved her with all her heart, if only for a few minutes. she cried, silent tears that stung her eyes and stained her pillow. eventually she took a breath and got out of bed, deciding to take spruce for a midnight walk. the air was cool and still and the sky was clear. elliot sat down on the grass by the edge of the forest and looked up at the stars. she stayed there for quite some time, looking out into the darkness and trying to remember names of constellations. she saw a shooting star and smiled, wracking her brain for what to wish for.

just some good things would be nice.

when she finally crawled into bed, the tightness in her chest that always appeared on her birthday was gone, and for the first time in weeks she slept peacefully.

[gaybastard2]

IDFC- Chapter 9: Panic Attacks and Child Proof Caps

Chapter Text

[Panic Attacks and Child Proof Caps]

Warning, contains: Panic attacks and mentions of alcohol.

I slowly raised my head to see a concerned looking Todd, my thoughts still painfully loud. "Okay, try to take deep, slow breaths." He ordered. I tried to control my breathing, my grip on my hair loosening slightly. Breath, just fucking breath, please. My breathing slowly evened out, still quite ragged from my throat being raw. He smiled awkwardly and patted my shoulder. Guess he's not great at this. I managed to chuckle quietly, my thought beginning to quiet down slightly.

"Okay, now, uh, name five things you can see." Todd mumbled. Confused on how this would help, I started to look around, counting the things I saw under my breath. "Couch, my- my sweater...hair bands, the door, " I murmured, eyes darting around the room nervously. Then my sight narrowed on Larry, shifting in his sleep. I took another deep breath. Stay calm, for him. Be strong for him. "Larry." I finished, my voice stronger than before.

Todd continued to ease me by asking me to name off things till I calmed down, tears now dried and Larry laying in my lap once again. He asked me to say four things I felt, three things I smelled, and two things I tasted. It was kinda weird, but it helped calm me down, so fuck it. I looked up and gave Todd a weak smile. "Thanks, Todd. I feel a bit better now. What the fuck was that though?"

He hummed in response. "It's a thing that tends to help people calm down from panic attacks. It gave you something to focus on other than what you were thinking about. Neil has them, so I studied about it." Todd explained, grinning at the mention of his boyfriend. I felt a pang of guilt. I remember being so fucking jealous of him and Neil. They were so open about who they are, and they didn't give a fuck what anyone said. Meanwhile, I was in heavy denial about who I was, and I fucked up and took it out on them and others.

I looked back at Todd. "Hey, uh, I'm really sorry about all the things I did. It was fucked up, and I shouldn't have done it. I know this doesn't make what I did okay, but I'm trying to be better. I'm really sorry." I said, fresh tears falling down my cheeks. Fuck, I'm a cry baby. He smiled and shook his head. "It's okay, Travis. I understand your," he paused, "Situation at home wasn't too good." Then he turned his head back to my father. "Now, back to him."

I sighed, stood up, and picked Larry up with much struggle. Im tired as hell, okay? I fucking choked my dad, I have a right to be exhausted right now. I carefully laid him down on the couch, kissing his forehead afterwards. He smiled fondly in his sleep, making butterflies go through my stomach and my cheeks to flush. I looked back at Ashley, who was supporting Sal so he could stand, and Todd. "Okay, I say we tie him to a chair or some shit." Todd and Ashley both quickly nodded. "While you guys get zip ties or some shit, I'm gonna go put Sally in Larry's bed so he doesn't do anything stupid." She explained, picking Sal up effortlessly. He giggled and twirled her hair as she walked into Larry's room.

"Well, there's a chance I have some ropes in my room from a recent project. I'll go get them, you stay here and watch Larry." Todd instructed, his face blushing slightly, walking to the door. I nodded as he left, wondering what the hell he's doing that needs rope. I heard a low groan and shifting behind me. "Travis?" I heard Larry whisper from the couch. I turned around, smiled, and stat down next to him, kissing his cheek.

"Hey, Larry, you okay? Well, other than the obvious?" I asked, eyes lingering on the bandages around his shoulder. It looks like it stopped bleeding, but it's still worrying, especially judging by how stained the bandages are. He blushed a brilliant pink and smiled, grabbing my hand gently. I grinned and interlocked our fingers. Fuck, I'm gay.

"I feel like shit honestly, but I'm just really happy you're okay. I was so fucking worried about you." Larry said, his voice hoarse from sleep. I blushed deeply and stood up. "I'm- I'm gonna go g-get you some water and hopefully Advil or some shit," I exclaimed loudly, my voice cracking and a goofy smile spreading across my face. I heard him laughing behind me as I ran to the kitchen. Fuck, I'm REALLY gay.

I opened the fridge and grabbed Larry a bottle of water, sitting it down on the counter afterwards. I checked the cabinet above the stove and searched for any kind of painkillers and found ibuprofen. Guess Ash missed these. As if on cue, Ashley walked through the doorway way leading to Larry's room, looking irritated as fuck. I snorted and held up the ibuprofen, shaking the bottle. She rolled her eyes and flipped me off. "I was in a hurry, okay?"

I snickered and shook my head as she tiredly sat down at the table. "So, what fucking happened? You look pissed." I asked, struggling to open the child proof cap on the bottle. She sighed, running her fingers through her hair. "Sal didn't want to sleep and kept crying about how you saw him without his mask."

I continued to curse under my breath as I struggled with the ibuprofen, trying my best to listen to Ashley. "Stupid child proof caps," I murmured. I looked up at her and smiled. "Hey, he shouldn't worry about that, I don't really care. Plus, he doesn't even look that bad." I hesitated before asking the question that's been eating at me. "But, what happened to him?"

Ashley went quiet. "Hey, you don't have to tell me. Sorry if he isn't cool with me knowing." I reassured, shooting her a small smile. She sighed and laid her head down on the table. "It's okay, Travis. I honestly don't know. Sal doesn't like talking about it, but I know it has to do with a dog." Ashley explained. I flinched at the mention of a dog. No, probably not. That's fucking stupid, Travis. I nodded before turning back around to the counter and trying to open the god forsaken child proof cap.

I heard Ashley snort behind me at my struggles. Oh that bitch. I finally managed to pop the cap of, smiling triumphantly and I sat it down and picked out three pills for Larry. I heard muffled giggles from the living room and looked over. Larry had his hand clamped over his mouth as he laughed, trying to silence his giggles. I blushed and fake gasped, putting my hands on my hips after putting the bottle down.

"How fucking dare you, child proof caps are a bitch!" I yelled, faking offended. He laughed hysterically, almost falling of the couch. I grinned. I love his laugh. Even with all the piercings, he still manages to look adorable. I grabbed the ibuprofen and water for Larry and brought it to the living room, giggling quietly. I put the pills and bottle on the table in front of him and kissed his temple, grinning when he blushed. I sat down

Larry took the ibuprofen and fucking chugged the water, almost immediately coughing afterwards. I patted his back as he hacked, snickering. He gasped as his coughing began to stop, wiping his eyes. Larry looked up. "By the way, what are we doing about him?" He asked, nervously glancing at the unconscious man on the floor, vomit now dried on his face.

"We're going to tie him to a chair. I don't know if you remember or not, but Todd came by and freaked the hell out. After, uh," I hesitated and swallowed thickly. "After I kind of freaked out, Todd said he had some rope at his house from a project or some shit." I explained. He looked at me with a puzzled expression. "Why the fuck does Todd have rope? Like, what project needs that?" I laughed and shrugged. "Hell if I know."

Ashley walked in, her arms crossed. "Okay guys, where the hell is Todd? He needs to hurry or else Kenneth is gonna come to, and we'll have to beat the shit out of him." She sat down next to Larry and leaned her head against the couch, sighing. Ashley's right, my dad has been unconscious for a while, he's probably gonna wake up soon. The thought alone made my stomach churn with anxiety. I sighed shakily and leaned my head back.

This isn't going to end well. When Todd gets back and we tie Kenneth up, what are we gonna do then? Larry looked at me and frowned. I looked back at him and tried to smile, failing miserably. He reached out and grabbed my hand, squeezing it reassuringly. "Hey, it's gonna be okay." He grinned and pecked my lips, causing both of us to go red.

I grinned and laid my head down on his shoulder. Larry immediately laid his head on mine. Ashley fake gagged and snickered as I flipped her off. After two minutes of quiet talking, the broken door swung open, hitting the wall next to it. I jumped at the sound, moving away from Larry on accident. Todd walked through the door, a backpack now slung across his left shoulder. "Hey guys, sorry it took longer then expected. I got some stuff to repair the door, but for now, let's just put a chair underneath the handle." He explained, his voice monotone.

"Travis, please go grab two chairs from the kitchen, Ashley, help me grab Kenneth and tie him up. Larry, just get some rest." Todd instructed, setting his bag down and taking out ropes from it. I nodded and ran to the kitchen. I grabbed two chairs, one under each arm, and carefully walked back to the living room. Todd and Ashley were holding my father up by his arms, Todd by the left and Ashley by the right.

I put the chair in front of them so they could sit him down, and lodged the other chair under the doorknob. I looked back at Todd and Ashley. Kenneth was now sitting in the chair, his head laying limply on the back of it. Todd was kneeling behind him, tying his hands together and to the back of the chair. Ashley was sitting in front of him and tying his legs to the legs of the chair. I walked back to the couch and collapsed next to Larry. "Welp, at least we've almost done it." I murmured. Larry snickered quietly and grabbed my hand once again. I blushed light and grinned at him. He smiled back, showing the gap in his teeth.

Todd stood up and clapped his hands. "Alright, so we're done. I suggest when he comes to, we question him. I have a theory." He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Nerd. Ashley stood up and crossed her arms, looking at Kenneth in disgust. Larry got up and walked in front of my father, pulling me along. His face was now a natural color and the saliva and tears were dried. There was now drying bile on the side of his face and his eye lids were still big and puffy. His hair was now tangled and dirty, both from the floor and dried blood.

Larry cringed. "Holy fuck-knuckles, you did a number on him. Fucking ew." I gagged and nodded. He turned to Todd. "What now? Do we just wait for him to wake up?" Larry asked. Todd nodded, staring intently at my father. "Okay, but why the hell do you have rope? Wait, does, does it have to do with Neil?" He asked, a look of horror spreading across his face. I snorted at Todds reaction. He gasped and went bright red, immediately shoving Larry in the shoulder. Ashley wheezed as Todd screeched incoherently.

"Todd, fucking why?" "Oh hey look, Kenneth's up!" Todd screamed, desperately trying to change the subject. We all went quiet before slowly turning our heads towards the beaten man in front of us. Ah shit, here we go.

Hey guys gals and non-binary pals, extra chapter this month since we hit 1k on Wattpad, Love you guys, bye 💙💙

[skznct127treacting]

My Stalker - Bang Chan (1/4)

October. A time for endulging in whimsicals fancies of corporate candies, horror movies, spooks that are camp and creeps that are chilling and for your small town - the Halloween carnival. The carnival had been a tradition for as long as you could remember, coming for the weeks leading up to Hallowe’en, with the main attraction being a haunted house - the likes of which had won numerous TV awards for being one of the scariest attractions in the country, with it being particularly popular amongst your age pool - adolescents and young adults.

You, yourself had never been. Perhaps it just wasn’t something of interest to you, or perhaps you were, like all your friends said - scared. What was there to be scared of? Well a lot. There’s a clown room for one, a maze room with a masked chainsaw man chasing you, a serial killers basement… need I go on? 

Regardless. This year. The year of 2019, was slightly different. Because one of the scare actors had caught your attention. Bang Chan. He had started the year late, but had somehow managed to weasel his way into your classes course. He was reserved and quiet, kept to himself mostly. He sat at the front of the class and was always early, he didn’t volunteer much but got 100% on almost any test he took. When people tried to engage with him he would laugh and be sarcastic and cynical and look at them with such intensity that you could swear he was burning a hole right through their skull - it was a look of superiority and confidence. Most people didn’t see that though, they just took his jokes at face value, but there was something cutting about them, something with an aura of uncomfortable truth to them.

He favoured dark clothes, sportswear mainly, he had an athletic build and was constantly slouching, making him appear shorter than he actually was. 

The first week you didn’t talk to him much, not having a reason to, but then the most peculiar thing happened. A week after he arrived you broke one of your pencils in your bag, it must have been crushed by your lunch, or your water bottle, or the endless notepads and folders you carry. Regardless, you put it on your desk intending to bin it after class but forgot to pick it up. 

The next day however, after class ended Chan pulled you to the side just as you were leaving, as you felt his heavy hand on your shoulder and turned to see he had your pencil - perfectly fixed and glued together, so meticulously that you couldn’t even trace the cracks.

“You should be more careful Y/N,” He teased, in his charming but acidic way as you stood there confused and unable to process why he had done this for you.

“Is this my pencil from yesterday?” You asked rolling it between your fingers, surely he had just bought another one or given you a spare. Which was equally weird, but hey it was a more logical explanation.

“What? No?! I fixed it for you Y/N,” he said - drawing out your name again as though enjoying the way it tasted. “I’ve seen you use that one a lot, it’s a pretty cool pencil with the sparkles and rainbows. It’s cute.”

Now your face had been peppered with a pink blush, the strange compliment leading your wave of confusion to be overlapped with that of fluster. 

“I’m Chan by the way,” He said loudly as though intending for you to hear his name. To remember it. You already knew his name of course, having been curious about him for some time. Your friends had done the whole social media stalk and found his facebook page filled with pictures of nights out with his friends, photos at the beach, his dog, his soccer activities. Your friends Josie and Eve were already in relationships though, and having seen the slight gleam in your eye when looking at his pictures - well, they both tried to push you into speaking to him. 

“Oh well nice to meet you. I saw you moved halfway through September, that must have been tough for you. How are you settling?” You asked putting the pencil in your pocket staring up at him only to look away, as though his bright glare was like that of the sun.

“It’s been alright so far, I’ve managed to catch up with classes,” He shrugged moving restlessly from side to side. “Well some of them…”

“I thought you were doing really well all things considering you seem to be getting full marks.” You smiled at him, and for the first time you saw his smile, as he beamed back at you. It was the type of smile that lit up his face and made him appear less intimidating, it was at this exact moment that you felt your heartbeat jump.

“Yes well from speaking to people everybody says your the best at this module, which isn’t surprising, I mean the only times I’ve seen you outside class you’re always in the library studying,” He said still with that charismatic smile, his movements becoming more animated, it was like as though for the first time you were meeting the real him. Of course this second outburst of compliments only deepened your rouge cheeks to scarlett.

“I mean I know some of it but-”

“Well if I ever get stuck I know who to come to for tutoring. Besides your in my debt now,” He smirked looking down at the pocket you had put your pencil in. “Well I’ll see you round Y/N~”

And as he set off the oddest thought crossed your mind… how did he know your name? I mean you had found his out through him telling it to other people when he introduced himself but he had never witnessed no such interaction on your part. He didn’t even sit near you. And what was with the pencil? Who does that?? Why??? Why does he need help? Why did he arrive late to school? All the while your head felt light, dizzy with the interaction, you had never acknowledged his looks and charm for yourself before, you had never felt like this before, nobody had taken such notice of you before. All the while Chan’s footsteps paced the hallways growing lighter, his smile widening, for he knew all the answers to your questions. 

That had been the first interaction, and after you had told Josie and Eve they brushed off the whole pencil thing as creepy, along with him, he was a creep, and they took back every good word they had ever said about him. The three of you were out that day, rummaging through shops for a decent Hallowe’en costume, it may only be the start of term but everybody’s mind was on the Monsters Bash on the 31st October which your school was running, it was to be an outside ball on the sports field with marquees and fairy lights and bunting, cheap alcohol would be provided along with Hallowe’en candy and students were already planning where they would pre drink and where the after parties would be and the buzz was only intensifying as the event neared.

“Slutty witch, slutty nurse, slutty cat, slutty clown… huh slutty scooby doo,” Josie rattled as she sorted through the outfits on the railings. She was a tall girl with a lithe build, long brown hair, pale skin and with an effortless beauty that you envied, she could make anything look stunning. Even a slutty scooby doo costume. 

“Imagine how many people are going to go as the Joker this year,” Eve said, rolling her eyes as she stood on the opposite side of Josie, she was the shortest of the three of you with dyed red hair that was constantly in some type of complicated braid, with her sweater sleeves always pulled over her hands and her shoes always a worn out pair of black converse. 

“I know! I’ve already had to persuade Jack that we’re are not going as Harley and the Joker, I upset him, and now we’re not doing a couple costume anymore.” Josie pouted.

“Same!! Me and Daniel couldn’t agree, I’ve told him for the millionth year that I’m not dressing up as Sally and Jack. It’s just so unoriginal.” Eve shot back with equal passion.

You stood there unable to contribute to such talk of relationships as your mind swirled to thoughts of Chan, what would he dress as this year? Would he even attend the Bash, did he even have anybody to go with? Like sure he had friends, but he didn’t have friends that he could go with. The thought of inviting him crossed your mind, but that was wayyy too ahead of yourself, but perhaps, if you talked to him more and got closer maybe you could go together. Maybe for once you wouldn’t be the 5th wheel in your friendship group.

“What are you going to go as Y/N?” Josie said pushing all the clothes on the railing to one side in dismay as you left the shop.

“Hm I’m not sure yet,” You said pausing your train of thought on Chan.

“Well I got an idea looking at that scooby doo costume.. how cute would it be if we went as the Hex Girls from that show, we can have our own couple costumes,” Eve piped up as Josie shook her head.

“No way! Who's going to get that reference?” Josie replied.

“Erm.. the intellectuals!” Eve laughed. “And if we don’t win best costume, I’ll literally sue the school.”

“So you’d be Luna, I’d be Thorn and Y/N can be Dusk?” Josie said, slightly coming round to the idea.

“Oh my god it’ll be soooo cute!” Eve gushed as you just nodded your head. 

So that was that on October 31st 2019 you and your 3 friends were going to the Monsters Bash as a 90s goth girl group from Scooby Doo, if that didn’t win round Chan.. what would??

Well after that shopping trip at the weekend Monday rolled around. It was the first day that you’d see Chan again since your class together on Thursday and you had spent the whole weekend playing out scenarios in your head like a bad fanfic. When you arrived to class you were surprised to see he hadn’t arrived yet which was verrry unusual for him so you sat in your usual seat towards the back and began to unpack your stuff. Too focused on this activity you had barely noticed somebody come and pull a seat next to you as you looked up to see Chan.

It may be because you had gotten a crush on him but damn he was looking way more handsome than you  thought he was. His dark eyes glanced at you as his dark brown hair, had been dyed a sludgy green over the weekend which was the first thing you complimented him for, it framed his face differently to his blonde hair, made him seem even more mysterious and alluring, his cheekbones more defined, his jaw sharper, his hair cut shorter slightly as you noticed several ear piercings down his ears. 

“Good morning Y/N,” he said cheerfully, although you could see how tired he was from the shadows under his eyes and a sheepish paleness to him.

“How was your weekend?” You asked, only thinking now that maybe it was a bit forward that he had just sat next to you today, with it being the only day he had been late, but those thoughts were pushed out with concerns for him and thoughts of his looks and your curiosity and- and- and-

“It was decent. I had a lot of practice to do though. I somehow managed to get a job at the ghost house and we’ve been doing rehearsals all weekend,” He said slamming his notebooks onto the table next to yours. You noticed him pull out a little red notebook by accident which he quickly shoved to the bottom of his bag which he kicked to the ground and under the desk. “What about you?”

“Oh that’s so cool. I’ve never been to the ghost house myself but I love the carnival. Well we went costume shopping for the bash but didn’t find anything, but we decided what we wanted to be though,” You said, subconsciously smiling at him.

“Whose we?” He asked raising his eyebrows.

“Oh just my friends Josie and Eve, they’re in different classes to me,” 

“And you’re going as….?”

“We are going as the Hex Girls if you know who that is, I’m going to be Dusk, you know blonde hair, green dress.. The drummer..” 

“That’ll be really cute,” He nodded as you felt that dizzy feeling again from his compliments, you were about to reply but with that class had begun.

[britishassistant]

But I Like One Piece (4)

Somehow it gets worse after that.

It’s hard enough living with the realization that she’s been reborn with an entirely new circulatory system that parasitizes energy from her training and studying and doesn’t like her.

But then the teacher begins making noises about learning to mold this system to their wills.

Like trying to harness the weird unnatural force for its powers isn’t going to end horror movie style.

Especially since they’re using those dumb hand signs to do so.

She feels a little bad for disparaging it, since Naruto’s trying so hard to form them properly.

But most of them look like they’d dislocate her fingers if she wasn’t careful, her mind recalling videos of howling children who tried a little too hard to copy their favorite show and were left with fingers that dangled the wrong way.

She can’t risk damaging her tools again.

“Ketsugi.” The teacher says. “Demonstrate the Ox sign for the class.”

She cautiously twists her fingers, then drops them when something twinges. “Can't do it.”

“Of course you can, if you bother to try. The Ox sign.” The teacher snaps.

“But these aren’t necessary, right?” She pushes.“They just make using ch-chakra easier. A handicap.”

The teacher sighs. “They’re a tool, not a handicap, which you would know if you were paying attention to the lesson. Form the signs, Rat through Serpent.”

“I’m not doing them.” She snaps. “It’s embarrassing as a human being!”

There’s a moment of silence as what she said sinks in.

“Mizuki-sensei, why does Ketsugi-san look so smug?”

“Because she’s about to serve detention Uchiha.” The teacher growls. “Ketsugi, out in the hallway, now!”

She pouts as she holds the water buckets. They’re not even that heavy after training with Gai-sensei.

And so what if she was smug? She got to say Nico Robin’s line, she deserves to feel proud for that.

“It’s embarrassing as a human being.” She whispers to herself and can barely stifle slightly hysterical giggles.

Naruto and Kiba end up in detention with her after school.

Somehow they managed to turn the teacher’s white hair orange enough to rival Nami’s. It’s almost the same length too, making her snicker.

She thinks of her own hair, now below her chin. It’s too fine and straight to pull off Nami's look. She pouts down at her fingers.

“What is your family symbol anyways?” Kiba says, cracking his knuckles and shaking his fingers out. They’ve been cycling through the dumb signs for the past twenty minutes.

She peeks down at her shirt where there’s a little embroidered grey pelican with its wings raised to almost form a circle and a red tomoe where its beak meets its breast.

“It’s a pelican.” She says. “A sea bird. Their beak can hold lots of water, like a bucket.”

“Oh.” He fidgets, scratching the markings on his face. Akamaru barks. “Is that why it’s your family symbol? Carrying water?”

“Ah, no.” She gestures towards it as covertly as she can. “There’s this idea from a long time ago that pelicans babies are nursed on blood. So the pelican stabs itself with its beak so it can feed its babies. It’s a metaphor for something, like self-sacrifice, I think. I’m pretty sure they don’t do that in the wild.”

Kiba “hmms” and a frown creases Naruto’s face, but he doesn’t say anything for the rest of the afternoon, and that evening he’s back to normal.

She wonders if she should’ve questioned it.

One day a little under half of their class is gone.

She looks around. “Where is everyone?”

“You mean you don’t know?” Ino gasps, looking vaguely ill. Her skin’s pale and there’s bags under her eyes.

She and Naruto glance at one another. She shakes her head.

The blonde leans in close, voice dropping to a whisper. “The entire Uchiha clan was killed last night. Massacred.”

She blinked, looking around at the empty seats. Then it hits her. “What?! Even the—”

Ino shrugged, rubbing her arms. “I don’t know. They haven’t reported any survivors. J-just that the clan compound was—w-was—”

The blonde began trembling violently, breath coming in harsh gasps. Her eyes widen and she slips an arm around Ino’s shoulders, frantically gesturing to Naruto who looks like he’s confronting a bomb instead of a panicking girl.

Between them they got Ino sitting down and nibbling half-heartedly on an orange slice. Shikamaru, Kiba and Choji are in just as bad shape. Chouji is chewing his thumb so hard he makes it bleed, while Shika jumps at the slightest sound. Kiba’s just curled around Akamaru.

Nobody talks much that day.

Eventually the teacher throws his hands up and tells them all to go home early.

All the other civilian kids leave immediately in twos and threes. The clan kids stay seated.

Ino laughs hollowly when Sakura asks what’s taking her so long. Chouji won’t stop trembling. The quiet boy in the back buzzes restlessly. Kiba even lets out a whimper.

She exchanges glances with Sakura and Naruto.

They’re scared stiff.

Naruto stands up, and goes to where his stalker and the quiet boy sit at the back of the room. “Hey,” He says, “Wanna walk home with Mayu-chan an’ Sakura-chan an’ Ino an’ Shika an’ Chouji an’ Dogbreath and me?”

He sounds out of breath once he’s finished.

“U-um,” The stalker stutters. The quiet boy says, “That will not be necessary. Why? Because...”

“Oh come off it and walk with us.” She snaps. “We’ll hold hands and everything. Safety in numbers, right Shikamaru?”

He scoffs, but stares intensely at a spot on the wall. She can practically see the cogs turning in his head.

“Okay.” He says. “Here’s how we’ll do this.”

They run into Lee on the way out, but he gets incorporated into their weird-dodechahedron-chain-thing easily enough.

He and Naruto are at the front, laughing and talking like nothing’s wrong. Naruto holds Kiba and his stalker’s hands, while Lee holds the quiet boy’s and Shikamaru’s.

The clan kids make up a mass in the middle. Kiba (after much grumbling) holds the quiet boy’s other hand, while the stalker holds Ino’s and Shikamaru grasps Chouji’s hand.

She and Sakura take the rear, holding hands and not doing as good a job as Lee and Naruto at pretending everything’s fine. Sakura’s also holding Ino’s other hand and she’s holding Chouji’s.

People stare at them as they walk, barely tripping each other up.

Some snigger, but more look pitying.

She spots a couple of masks following them at a distance and tightens her grip on Sakura and Chouji.

They go to the compound that’s farthest from the village proper first and work their way in.

The quiet boy’s father has glasses like his son, and thanks them with a low buzz for returning “Shino”.

Kiba’s mum gives him a noogie and her dog calls them “good kids” gruffly.

The stalker is welcomed by an attendant who calls her “Hinata-sama”, flicks cold eyes over them and shuts the door in their faces.

Ino’s mum is almost in hysterics and she can’t stop hugging and kissing her daughter.

Chouji’s dad looks on the verge of tears, and he calls them brave for looking after his son.

Shikamaru’s mum keeps it better together, but her voice cracks when she thanks them.

When she closes the door on them, Mayu, Naruto, Lee and Sakura all look at each other, pensive and grave. The four “civilians” with no compounds to hide in.

Not that the compound saved the Uchiha.

“Wanna go cook something at my place?” She asks.

Her parents return with Gai-sensei and a pink-haired man and a blonde woman who introduce themselves as Kizashi and Mebuki Haruno.

They hug their daughter for a long time.

Lee looks longingly at the scene, so Gai-sensei slaps him on the shoulder and challenges him to run 100 times around their garden on his hands. Otou-sama eagerly asks if he can join in, which Gai-sensei enthusiastically agrees with.

Otou-sama repeatedly falls on his face, but he looks like he’s having fun.

She checks to see if the meat is done, then calls out that the food she, Naruto, Sakura and Lee have prepared is ready.

Naruto grabs the extra chairs while Sakura balances a pitcher of ice water and the hot plate and Lee brings out covered dishes of thinly sliced vegetables and rice.

It’s too hot for hot pot really, and they’re all sweltering as they crowd round the dining table Gai-sensei and Kizashi lugged outside, but at the same time it feels like the heat of the dish could almost burn away the horrors that happened today, warm and mild flavors grounding them in the idea of home and family and making it seem ridiculous that such things could be violated.

Her mother brings out bottles of sake, and she can tell by the way Mebuki Haruno whistles that it’s good stuff.

She uncorks one bottle and pours a dish out for everyone, even the children.

Then her father uncorks the other and holds it up in one hand, his sake dish in the other.

“To the Uchiha. May their memory be honored, may they find justice, and may their spirits be at peace in the next life.”

“To the Uchiha.” They chorus, and he pours the bottle out into the grass as they drink.

She’s never had the tongue for alcohol so it doesn’t taste very nice. From the way Naruto’s sticking his tongue out, Sakura’s hacking, and Lee’s pulling a face, they think the same.

Luffy, I know this isn’t really your thing. She thinks. But maybe get Robin or Nami or Brook to help you out. Please, please get those poor souls somewhere they’ll be happy and free. And knock the fucker who did a Buster Call on them out with a gomu gomu no bazooka.

She tosses back the rest of the sake with that silent prayer.

Naruto leans into her side, resting his head on her shoulder, so she rests her head atop his. Okaa-sama sits down on his other side, taking his hand and carding her free one through Mayu’s hair. Otou-sama brackets them on the other side, throwing an arm over their shoulders and drawing them all together, a bit squashed, and adds his hand to the pile.

They watch the sun set and mourn the lives lost.

Nobody goes home that night.

The masks don’t even come for Naruto.

They end up spread out around the living room, futons and bedding haphazardly laid out.

She wakes up in the early morning with Naruto spreadeagled beside her on the floor, one foot in her father’s stomach and her mother curled up behind her and—

The mask that hurt her standing over them.

She tenses weakly, eyes frantically darting around. Her father is at their feet, so he’ll have to go over them to save her, giving the mask enough time to slit her throat.

Gai-sensei is sitting in her mother’s armchair, head thrown back and snoring while Lee is curled up on his lap. He won’t get to her in time either.

Kizashi is squashed on the couch, with Mebuki blocking him in. Sakura is on the coffee table for some reason, cuddling a paperweight. She can’t drag them into this.

She’s not strong like the Monster Trio. Hell, she can’t even hold a candle to the Coward Trio. There’s no way she’ll be able to take the mask and live to tell the tale. She’ll barely scratch him.

The mask looks at her. She curls a hand around Naruto’s arm protectively and glares back.

He raises a single finger the mouth of the mask and bursts into a flurry of leaves.

She can’t go back to sleep after that.

They’re in the morning paper.

Not as the front page headline. No, that’s reserved for a picture of a little boy that’s so much like the anime stills that used to be bandied about in flame wars of her past life, with the headline UCHIHA ITACHI CONFIRMED KILLER above it and the phrase SEVEN YEAR OLD SOLE SURVIVOR OF MASSACRE underneath.

They are halfway down the second page though. There’s a grainy photograph of their hand-holding escort, taken so as to obscure Naruto as much as possible behind Lee.

It doesn’t quite work, because you can see his hair and ear, and his hands holding Hinata and Kiba, the Uzumaki spiral clearly visible on his shirtsleeve.

Naruto eagerly points this out, and bragging about how “We’re famous now, believe it!”

The caption under it reads: Clan and civilian children draw together in historic show of solidarity. Whoever writes for the paper likes alliteration too much for anyone’s good.

Her father peers at it. “That’s quite a scary face you’re making there Mayu-chan.”

She says nothing and eats her rice quickly while her mother gives Otou-sama a Look.

It’s not her fault she was glaring at the masks when the photo was taken.

Everyone’s talking about the photo in class too.

Ino’s even signing copies of it.

At least she’s feeling better. The others seem to back to a semblance of normality too.

All except the stalker. She keeps stealing quick, furtive glances at Naruto, before gazing sadly back down at her hands.

Ino notices her staring and nudges her. “I heard Hinata’s dad blew a gasket at the picture. Said she’s not allowed to associate with Naruto anymore.” She says conspiratorially.

She winces. For a moment she’d been so caught up in the sense of communal mourning, she’d forgotten she lived in a world where Naruto was a pariah.

“Anything we can do?” She murmurs to Ino.

The blonde purses her lips, tapping her chin, but Sakura, with bags under bloodshot eyes from drinking a bit too much and sleeping on a table, is the one who answers. “Have her sit on the girl’s side of the table. That the way she’s close to Naruto without associating.”

“Sakura, that’s brilliant!” Ino gushes.

Instead of blushing and modestly denying the praise like usual, Sakura presses her face into the desk and mumbles, “Fuck yeah I am, shannaro.”

She cracks up at the expression on Ino’s face.

Naruto invites Shino to sit with him as well to disguise their intentions.

He accepts, but seems a little on edge with all the noise, curling in on himself a little whenever Ino or Kiba or Naruto go a little loud in the volume department.

It’s not his fault; some people just don’t do as well with noisy gatherings like this.

Hinata’s perked up a lot though, so there’s that.

She tries to follow Ino’s efforts to make Hinata feel included, but her mind keeps going back to the headline picture.

She knows about him vaguely. She used to participate in many arguments by claiming that Roronoa Zoro would definitely kick his pasty little arse seven ways to Sunday, magic eye or no.

There were enough pictures and videos of him and Naruto fighting online that she knew they were enemies, even if she didn’t know the whys or hows.

She knows his brother killed his clan, and the flame wars over whether this was justified would always take over the thread.

Sitting here with under half the class gone, dark-haired kids whose names she should’ve made more effort to remember, it sure as hell doesn’t feel like it. But she digresses.

The image of the little lost boy staring at the camera like he can’t understand what’s happening to him returns to haunt her. Naruto used to look like that, when he went home covered in rotted produce and belly growling.

Sanji preserve her, but she’s a sap.

“Will the Uchiha go hungry now?” She asks herself, pushing a grain of rice around.

There’s a silence.

When she looks up, the rest of the table is staring at her. Some inquisitive, some suddenly calculating, one despairing.

Naruto groans, startlingly loud. “I’m not sharing my lunch with him, believe it. You can make him food, but I’m not gonna sit with him.”

“I don’t want to either.” She says honestly, and bites into her red bean bun as those around her stare in bemusement.

Naruto suddenly grins, bright and vicious. “You’re so weird, Mayu-chan.” He crows, biting into his own bun.

She shrugs. Well, he’s not wrong.

[igotthatggukgguk]

low fidelity → jjk pt.2

pairing → fratboy!jungkook, fem reader, fratboy!taehyung genre → college!au, fratboy!au, fluff, comedy, smut in the future? warning/s → MATURE CONTENT ( SCOOT AWAY LITTLE CHILD)

You seriously didn't remember what happened between you and Nancy that she managed to successfully convince you to attend the party at Beta Tau Sigma, because you are starting to regret it. Really regret it.

It was friday night and you were wearing a backless black dress that displayed your flawless bare posterior. Well, of course not on your own accords. Your prior choice of clothing was a pair of black tights and a baggy sweatshirt but Nancy couldn't stop rambling about how you look like an unfuckable dry nun so she pulled out the sluttiest possible outfit in her wardrobe for you to wear.

"Nance, this thing isn't doing me justice. It literally covers nothing." You whined while pulling the low neckline up to cover your chest as the both of you made your way to the entrance of the frat house. Nancy was a bit plumper than you were so the dress was a bit loose around the boob area but you were a lot taller than her so the hemline that was supposed to reach your mid-thigh, stopped just below your ass.

"Good." She giggled.

There were people from other sororities and frats too. Like, well-known people. Literally. You saw YouTubers, instafamous even new actors. As usual, BTS never failed to maintain their title as the best party host in the history of LAU.

Once you two were at the door, you were met with two freshmen which you assume were the designated bouncers of the night.

"Hello, ladies." The shorter one greeted.

"Hi, we're with Yoongi."

"Alright, miss. Might as well get a little comfortable. It's gonna be wild in there." He said as he handed use two cans of beer.

"Thanks." You smiled half-heartedly in return.

Oh boy, the boy wasn't kidding when he said it would be wild. The party was feral. When Yoongi invited Nancy, he might've forgotten to mention that it was going to be a foam party. Loud EDM music was blaring at the maximum volume and the lights inside were dim and purplish. People were doing all sorts of things. Dancing, drinking, talking and doing god knows what. A few brothers were situated on the second floor, splashing more foams on top of the party crowd. They seemed like they were having the time of their life when they succesfully poured the foams on the targeted group of hot girls as they shriek sheepishly.

"Holy fuck, Y/N. I've never been to BTS' party before. I never thought it would be this lit!" Nancy exclaimed, gaping at the boisterous scene in front of her. "Oh look! there's Yoongi!" She gushed, pointing at the red-headed dude. It wasn't long until the man finally notices us and made his way closer.

"Nancy babe! Glad you could make it tonight! You even brought a friend. Hi, I'm Yoongi." He said, giving Nancy a chaste kiss not too long after.

"Yeah, heard a lot about you. I'm Y/N by the way." You smiled back. Yoongi was noticeably tipsy, that explains his overfriendliness when he pulled you into a side hug. He guided the two of you through the house and hung out a minute or two at the back porch. Soon, Nancy and you parted as she followed Yoongi somewhere else and you were left alone at the bench outside.

Thanks a lot Nancy. You were the one to drag me to this hell hole and now you're leaving me alone. Just my fucking luck.

You opened the can of beer from earlier and chugged down a big gulp, wrinkling your nose at the unfamiliar taste. When was the last time I've had alcohol? Yikes.

You took some time to scan the environment around you. People were dancing and grinding against each other. Intoxicated and very visibly horny. It seemed like most of the girls were aware of the theme since the majority of them wore bikinis and shorts. You could count with your fingers how many girls you've spotted wearing a dress. One girl from Kappa Zeta, Bae Irene and one girl from your own sorority, Jungah.

You were too engrossed with the scene in front of you to notice the presence next to you. "Y/N?"

You turned your head abruptly, eyes meeting a familiar pair of brown orbs. Oh shit.

"Is that really you? God, it's been years since I've last seen you here. I think the last time you came here was during freshman year and you were definitely not this hot. Damn." The boy chuckled, biting his lips.

"Yeah, I've been occupied with studies Taehyung. If you're not aware, that's the actual reason we go to college." You said, a tinge of sarcasm masking your sentence.

"Damn Y/N, you really know how to suck the fun out of things." You shrugged nonchalantly at the remark.

"Guess there's a reason why they call me 'fun sucker'."

Taehyung laughed boyishly.

You could feel his eyes raking your body intensely as if he was a dog and you were a piece of meat.

"Seriously though, you look hot tonight. I don't know if it's the makeup, the dress or just you, but it's working. I've had 4 brothers asking me about you." Really? You thought.

You blushed and playfully hit his arm. "Oh shut up, Tae. You're just trying to kiss my ass."

"Literally or hypothetically?" He joked.

You gasped at his innuendo looked at him in shock. Taehyung giggled, clearly amused with your reaction. He slinked an arm around your torso casually making you flinch. You looked at his face. Taehyung smirked down at you. Damn you, pretty boy. You marveled the sight of Taehyung in fornt of you, his short chestnut brown hair, his smug expression, and boy does he look good in black t-shirts.

"You're so pretty." He said. "Has any ever told you that, baby?" His voice dropped an octave lower. You stomach churned at the endearment. Taehyung used his other free hand to pull you closer to him as he pushes your body against a wall. His face was painfully near that you could even smell the alcohol in his breath, mixed with his cologne. That painfully familiar cologne.

Your heart was beating like crazy. It was going haywire but you were determined not to be lured into this trap. Again. But no matter what you do, Taehyung has this effect on you where he makes it hard for you to do things at your own consent. You were too stunned by him to do anything.

He leaned his face closer and closer to the point that your noses were touching. You stared into his eyes half-liddedly. You were sure he was going to kiss you until...

"Kim Taehyung!" A voice interrupted. You heaved a sigh of relief mentally. Thank god. Taehyung pulled back from you and rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed by the intrusion. He looked at you one last time and ruffled your hair playfully.

"You should come here more often, babe. I've missed you so much." You just nodded.

"Oi, Kim Taehyung! Get your fucking ass over here." The same voice called again.

He looked at you for assurance. You gave him a tight-lipped smile and motioned him to go along.

"Move along, freak." He gave you a slight chuckle before walking away. You stared as he made his way closer and closer to whom you assumed was Park Jimin, a dance major. It's not like you stalked them or anything. It just happened that BTS is so popular because they literally have slept with almost every girl on campus, including you.

Jimin grabbed Taehyung by his neck playfully as he dragged him to the other side of the room where two girls were waiting and giggling. You decided not to stare anymore. The sight of Taehyung with someone else somehow still managed to leave a some sort burn in your heart.

You decided to grab some more alcohol so you made your way to the kitchen where you knew where they kept their drinks.Once you were there, you opened the cabinet in the corner and found the hidden stash of good alcohol. You took out a bottle of tequila and a glass shot from the counter.

"Hey, that's not allowed ma'am!" A voice interrupted. You startled and turned around to see who it was.

The guy was wearing an LAU shirt with denim button ups as a cardigan and a camera was around his neck. His has was messily pushed back revealing his handsome forehead and his brown eyes were piercing into yours. You swore you weren't drooling as he made his way closer to you.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know." You apologized.

He frowned in response just to laugh it off after. "You're not really thinking of drinking that all by yourself, are you?" He asked jokingly and you just smiled back. "Wanna have some drinks?" You invited. The boy nodded. "It would be rude to decline an offer from such a beautiful lady." He winked at you. You felt you cheeks heating and becoming hot as a flaming hot cheetos. You couldn't keep yourself from smiling.

"I'm Jungkook, by the way."

"Y/N"

"Oh, aren't you Taehyung's girlfriend?" He exclaimed. Your chest tightened at the mention of his name.

"Ex-gilfriend." You corrected, emphasizing the first word.

"Sorry to hear that, what happened between you two?"

"It's a long story."

Jungkook frowned at the tone of your voice.

"Wanna talk about it?" He suggested as he poured in some liquid in the shot glasses. You were a bit taken aback by his forwardness. You literally just met him for like 10 minutes and he's already asking you the details of your past relationship?

"I barely know you." You scoffed.

"That doesn't make me less of a good listener." He confided.

You deliberately nodded, agreeing with his response. "Well, if you insist."

You took a shot of the cheap tequila, a burning sensation flooding throat. Jungkook did the same, except he didn't looked bothered in the slightest.

You asked if there was somewhere more private where you could talk and he somehow took you to the balcony of his room.

"You share your room with that Jimin dude?" You asked at the sight of Jimin's picture at the side of the bed.

"Yeah, he's a cool guy. Totally pure when he first joined, look at him now." He exclaimed making you laugh.

"You're a bad influence."

"How am I a bad influence? I don't even do those type of things. If anybody were to be a bad influence, it would be Namjoon and his porn addiction." He added.

You chuckled and shook your head lightly in amusement. Jungkook slide the door open to access the balcony and the two of you settled on the bean bag that was placed on the floor.

"Spill the tea, sis." Jungkook said as he crossed both of his arms behind his head. Your eyes automatically focused on his biceps as he flexed his arms.

You shook your head to snap out of it. You couldn't believe the fact that you're telling this to a stranger. Heck, you've never even told Nancy about what happened between you and Taehyung. Well, I guess someone has to know. Who could be better than a stranger? Well, now that you've thought it through, Jungkook's not really a complete stranger. You've had your call of small encounters with him at school, you definitely recognise his face but you never got the chance to actually know him.

"Well, how do I start?"

•Freshman year in college•

You were on your way to a cafe nearby your campus to grab some light snacks before the next lecture starts.

You looked at your phone to check the time and realised that it was still kinda early so you decided to stop by and have some coffee and unwind for a bit.

The bell chimed as you walked into the cafe and the workers greeted you.

"I'd like an iced frappe and a scone. Do you think you could also pack me two ham sandwiches? Thank you."

"Yes miss, the total would be 12 dollars."

You were just about to take your wallet out when a hand appeared from behind and handed the money for you.

"It's okay, I'll pay." You wanted to decline the offer but as soon as you turned around to see the owner of the money, you froze. Gawking at the man like he was some type greek god. He was wearing a white button down his top two buttons were left undone, revealing his honey tan skin.

"I-It's okay! I can pay for my own food." You said, face flushed and stuttering.

"No, I insist. You can pay me back by going put with me though." You eyes went wide as saucers at the latter statement.

Am I hearing things here? Is he really asking me out?

"Princess? What do you say?" He confirmed your thoughts.

"Sure!" You beamed at him.

"Great, I'll pick you up at 7. You're from Chi Omega, right."

"Yeah, how'd you know?" You asked, grabbing the coffee and pastries before taking a seat at the nearest table, the boy doing the same.

"Well, don't be scared but I might've stalked you a little." He confessed.

The two of you talked for a while and you found out that his name was Kim Taehyung and he was an art major from the fraternity Beta Tau Sigma. You were a bit shocked when he said it because as a freshman, you knew BTS was the big deal. The jocks of college.

You went back to the campus and got to class just in time when Professor Jung entered with her big computer in hand.

Throughout the class, you had the focus level of a labouring cow. You couldn't stop thinking about him and you counted seconds before the lecture was over and rushed back to your sorority.

You kicked open the door of your shared room and squealed. "Nancy, nancy, nancy!!! Guess what? Kim Taehyung from Beta Tau Sigma just asked me out today!"

"No fucking way! You lucky bastard!"

Nancy was your best friend since high school. It so happened that she also applied to LAU to do fashion modelling. You were elated to have found out that she was going to be in the same sorority as you and even more so when the two of you became roommates.

____________________________________

It was 7 and you couldn't tame the butterflies in your tummy. You had chosen to wear a white halter top lace dress and nude sandals, paired with a natural makeup. Not gonna lie, you looked stunning in the outfit and you hoped he liked it too.

A few minutes later, a black BMW drove into the drive way and a man in a black leather jacket came out. Your stomach churned at the sight of Taehyung in the manly outfit with his hair pushed back messily, but in a good way that made him look so delectable.

The worst thing was, you were ovulating. That meant, everything he did was extra sexy and you couldn't contain yourself from having dirty thoughts about what you wanted to do with him.

" Wow y/n, you look stunning."

You giggled as he took in your appearance.

"You too."

Taehyung had taken you to a nightclub. Interesting choice of place, I know. You did have fun though and you drank so much that night, you were positive you passed out.

The next thing you knew, you woke up in a completely foreign room. You were wearing nothing but an oversized black t-shirt and you felt heat radiating from behind you and turned around to see Taehyung still soundly sleeping.

A sharp pain shot through your head as a reminder of last night's event. Crap.

"Taehyung, man. Have you seen my — woah." A boy clad in just his boxers came blasting into the room and grew speechless at the sight of you and Taehyung.

"It's not what you think!" You explained.

"Chill sister, it's college. You can do whatever you want."

Taehyung groaned from behind you. "Babe, you up already?"

"Yeah, thanks for last night Tae. It was seriously fun but I've got to get going. I have a class at 10." You said and kissed his forehead.

"You know what? I'm gonna go." The boxer boy exclaimed, clearly disturbed with the public display of affection.

"Hey Namjoon, put a sock on the door knob will ya?" Taehyung shouted as the boy made his way out and shut the door.

You're not that naive, you know what he meant when said it. You were confused.

"Gross!" Yes shouted but did so nonetheless.

Taehyung laughed at you baffled expression. You eyes bulged when he casually pushed you on your back and straddled you.

"You have a dirty mouth, baby." You squinted your eyes at him.

"You drove my nuts yesterday, whispering dirty things you wanted to do to me." He said in a hush tone, his lips subtly teasing your the side of your jaw.

Shit.Shit.Shit.Shit.Shit. I'm never gonna fucking drink anymore. You cupped your face in embarrassment.

"What did I say?" He chuckled at your cuteness and pried your fingers off of your face. Your lips parted in awe of his gorgeous face, his bed head made him even sexier.

"How about I show you instead? Just skip the class and I'll show you." With that, he took the opportunity of your parted lips to swoop you into an open-mouthed kiss, his hands pinning yours at the side of your head.

And that was it, you had your virginity taken by him. Kim Taehyung.

After the event took place, you started to spend more and more time with Taehyung and that also meant you spent more and more time at the beta tau sigma house until everybody there practically knew you.

After a few weeks, Taehyung asked you to be his girlfriend. For once, you thought everything was perfect. Every girl in your college would die to be in your place and Taehyung was the sweetest thing ever.

Or that's what you thought.

After half a year of dating, you found out that Taehyung had been cheating on you all along. He never actually stopped seeing other girls while he was with you. He treated you as a joke.

Heck, Taehyung never even bothered to say sorry or anything when you finally told him that you wanted to end the relationship. He didn't even bother.

From then onwards, you never really go out anymore. You stopped going to parties, you stopped hanging out with the popular kids and you never really tried dating again. All you did was focus on your studies and luckily Nancy was always there for you during the heartbreak fest.

Not gonna lie, it hurt like a bitch. But you moved on eventually. Of course it wasn't easy because you see him everyday at campus, but you forced yourself to be strong no matter how much it hurt.

But deep down, you really do still care about him. He was after all, your first. Your first boyfriend, the person to take your virginity, your first love.

"I'm sorry you had to through all that because of Taehyung. That prick is gonna get it, I swear."

Jungkook rubbed your back comfortingly. You smiled sweetly at him, appreciating his effort.

"Don't bother, Jungkook. I'm a fucking diamond, a mere fuckboy couldn't break me." You said playfully, balling your fists to prove your strength.

[tvntae]

She’s Too Clingy 12

Reader x Min Yoongi

Plot: Yoongi seems to always take his frustrations out on you. Have you finally reached your boiling point?

Genre: Angst. Happy ending maybe?

Word Count: 2.7k

///.

It was pitch dark out when You and Yoongi finally got into your car. You’d made a quick stop to the convenient store as promised, to pick up a few snacks. Yoongi wouldn’t leave without buying a case of beer so you picked that up as well. You had your suspicions as to why he was so adamant over getting the beers but, you let it go. Choosing to just stay positive and let Yoongi have his way, as per usual. Maybe a few beers wouldn’t be so bad. It will at least be something to calm your nerves. You were a little skeptical about having Yoongi over and it was just so late out. He might end up passing out and you wouldn’t have a choice but to allow him to sleep over. And Yoongi hated the couch, it gave him terrible back and neck pains, so you’d have no choice but to give up your nice, comfortable, warm bed for the old, hard, cold couch you even hated sitting on sometimes. Sleeping together in the bed wasn’t a choice for you. Hopefully, Yoongi wasn’t thinking about drinking a little more than usual tonight. Because, when he does he can get a little too touchy. And little touches turn into other things. You didn’t have the time to be seduced by Yoongi tonight. Not yet anyway. Not at all. 

“Hey, Soju or Hite, maybe?” Yoongi ponders which brand of alcoholic beverages to buy. Asking you as if you could decipher between the taste. You weren’t the drinker, he was. All you wanted were some Biscuit Oreo Sticks and some Honey Butter Chips. Just ya know... normal snacks. You exhale a sigh of relief once you notice Yoongi takes your silence as disinterest and picks up Soju. It will pair great with those honey chips you have in your cart, though, so you can’t complain. 

Yoongi offered to pay for you, again. Though you are a little tight on money, you didn’t feel comfortable for him to pay for you a second time tonight. You two always agreed to take turns paying. Equality, you called it. He laughed in your face, of course. Saying something along the lines of ‘men are always supposed to pay, it’s just the way the world works.’ Well, not in your world. You didn’t want Yoongi to think you were that broke. I mean, you were that broke but he didn’t need to know that. 

Because it was so late many people weren’t out and about, which was a good thing, people wouldn’t be able to bother Yoongi. He had his mask though, just in case someone was to notice him. Thank God that no one did, or you’d both be screwed. Well, Yoongi even screweder. You wondered what it felt like, to be caught. You saw other idols out with their significant others via news outlets, but it was never that way with Yoongi. Hell, no one knew he had a girlfriend until recently and it wasn’t even you they were referring to. It was some other chick he’d met a while back. The one he swore up and down he wasn’t fucking. Obviously, he was. Maybe not when the two of you were together, you had your doubts about that too, but you were for sure he’s had sex with her recently.  

After checking out you two headed towards your car. You let Yoongi drive since he was a much better driver than you at night. You couldn’t help but steal glances towards his way from time-to-time. He looked great all focused and stuff. “Something you need?” Yoongi teases you, noticing for the past 3 minutes you’d been staring at him. He didn’t mind, he found it cute. He was also hit with a little nostalgia. Thinking of the times you two would go on random rides to the city. When it was hot out and you two would go out and get ice cream. He missed that. He missed you. 

///

Settling into the house, Yoongi flops down on the couch in front of the t.v and you set up Netflix while he sets the snacks and beers out. “Anything, in particular you wanna watch?” You ask him as you flop down next to him. He shrugs his shoulder, telling you he doesn’t mind what you pick. He always sucked at choosing, you think. But to be frank, so did you. You decide on AHS since you hadn’t started season 7 just yet. 

“So what’s it like living alone? Don’t you get bored? Lonely?” Yoongi was curious as to how you managed to live on your own after all these months. He'd actually thought you’d get a roommate after he moved out. It seemed like something you would do anyway. You weren’t really the type to live alone. You were easily scared, especially at night. He remembers all too well that night when you woke him up because you thought someone was breaking in. He was so angry at you that day. He was actually angry at you for an entire week. Now that he thinks about it, he can’t help but feel stupid. He ignored you, even when he needed you he ignored you. His ego was far too big at the time and he has a hard time trying to figure out why. He worked so hard to win you over, only for him to fuck everything up way beyond repair. He can’t just say sorry now and wish that all is well. No, he has to prove himself to you. Like really prove himself. 

You knew there wasn’t any malice intent behind Yoongi’s questions. They were a little personal, yes but, he wasn't an ass. Yoongi wasn’t that way by choice, or so you’d convinced yourself that. No, he was just interested in your life as of late.

“It’s been rough like I said, I struggled for a while, a place like this isn’t cheap, but its nice here. I’m okay alone.” You take a sip from the beer Yoongi had handed you a few minutes ago. I’ll use it as liquid courage. For some reason, you felt like you were really going to need it tonight. 

Alcohol never really was your thing. You were a social drinker. You drank at events, you know weddings, parties, outings with friends, things as such. But drinking wasn’t for you. You didn’t feel the need to buy a pack of coronas when you were at the store to bring back home. You didn’t ‘crack open a cold one’ or whatever people say, with your buddies. It wasn’t you. Yoongi, on the other hand, was the opposite. He drank whatever and whenever he wanted. He didn’t care and neither did you. That was just him. You kind of had to train yourself to hold liquor better if you were to keep up with the big dogs. The big dogs being Yoongi and the rest of BTS. Yoongi took notice of you trying and he seemed proud of you. It was one of the few times you saw him truly happy about something you did for him. Everything else always seemed to go to shit. 

Yoongi nods his head after you finish up your sentence, showing you he understands you.

///

You two sat in silence for a while. You sipped at your beer from time-to-time, not wanting to drink too much tonight, since it was so late. Yoongi, however, was already on his third, looking sort of out of it and red faced. He was more quiet than usual. You were appreciative about it, it gave you some time to think a little, get your thoughts together in case this night goes completely left. 

“You okay over there, Y/n? You’re awfully quiet tonight,” He laughs. He could tell you were in pretty deep thought. He thought maybe you were a little tipsy but he noticed you’ve been nipping on the same soju bottle for the past hour and a half. You weren’t even paying attention to the show, just causally staring off into space. You ignore his question and ask your own: 

“Wanna play a game?” You turn your body completely towards him.

“Is this where I die? Because that question sounds pretty damn ominous,” Yoongi snorts. “What kind of game, though?  Truth or Dare? Cuz you seriously suck at that, you never want to do dare.”

“Na, not Truth or Dare.” you send him a smirk, “Let’s play something like 20 questions only it’s not 20 questions. We ask each other questions and answer honestly. Whatever we want, no limitations. You in?” 

“Yea I am, you suck at stuff like this anyway. Is there a prize for first place?” 

“Why would you get a prize for telling the truth Yoongs? I’ll go first,” You laugh

He shrugs his shoulders not seeing the point in asking any further questions. You came up with the idea because you still needed those answers. You had so many questions and you were a little too nervous to ask. You had so many you didn’t know where to begin. You chug back the rest of your beer and ask something that’s been probing at your brain for the longest time.

“Have you fucked her?”  The question was clear as day. As much as it pained you to think about it, you at least had the right to know. Right?

You could see Yoongi was physically uncomfortable with that question. Good, you think, as long as he tells the truth that’s all that matters. 

He gulps a large portion of his drink, sets it down and rubs his hands together. He was nervous. More nervous than ever tonight. He could feel his stomach doing flips and he almost felt like vomiting. Why was it so hard to tell you the truth? Would he feel better if he lied to you? Could you tell if he did lie? Was it even worth lying? This is an honesty game.

Maybe this was a test. She’s just trying to see if she can still trust me, he thinks. The last thing he wants to do is fuck this all up, again, for the umpteenth time. He didn’t have all lifetime to prove to you he could be better. And you definitely wouldn’t wait around for him for such a long time. 

“Yes,” he coughs, “yes, I have.”

You hum at his honesty, grateful he did not lie to you. You weren’t as sad as you had thought you would be about the truth. He told it and that’s all that really matters. 

You sigh and gesture towards Yoongi to ask his question. 

“Why didn’t you move somewhere you could afford instead of saying here ?”

“Well,” you start, “because I was waiting for you to come back home I guess. I thought that if you knew I wasn’t going anywhere then you would just show back up. I needed you and I thought that need was mutually exclusive. So I just... stayed for you. After 2 months I saw you really were not coming back and I gave up hope. I stayed for you, for us.” That felt so good to get off your chest. In no way were you trying to make Yoongi feel guilty about anything but a little, tiny piece of you was really hoping he did. You did stay for him. And once you came to your senses, it was much too late to leave. 

“I didn’t know that...” Yoongi says quite wide-eyed.

“Of course you wouldn’t, we didn’t communicate at all once you left. As much as I wanted to text you I never had the balls. Figured since you didn’t text me you were really done for good with me. Seeing as you’re here now... I see you aren’t quite yet.”

“How could I be?” He laughs, “Your turn now, ask away. Do your worst.”

“Let’s see,” “ were you happy after you moved out?”

“No, Never. At the time I thought I would be but I was just never found what I was looking for.”

“What were you looking for?” You ask another question, out of turn, yes but curiosity got to you. 

“You, or at least the imitation of you. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. How much I fucked up the best thing God has ever given me. I was scared for a little while, honestly thought my life was over. You were the only stable person that’s ever been in my life, so I was upset for some time. Can’t blame anyone but me though, huh?”

“What about you, did you ever find just a slither of happiness once I left?”

“Uh, well the house was quieter, didn’t have to wake anyone up in the mornings but myself, so yea I had a tiny bit of happiness after you left.” You flash Yoongi a smile, one he hadn’t seen in so long. The one that showed all your teeth. He loved that one the most because of the way your eyes scrunched up. He couldn’t help but smile himself,  not being able to resist you.

“You’re still as beautiful as I remember,” Yoongi says, making you blush.

“Pretty sure that’s not a question and besides, it isn’t your turn anymore!” You exclaim and slap his shoulder jokingly. Sending him into a fit of giggles.

“Anyways, why did you never let me have a dog?”

“That’s your question?” He laughs at you, shocked that you went down that road, again.

“Yes, it’s a serious question now answer it.” You protested. 

“I didn’t want a dog in the house because you’re not responsible enough. Remember that fish we bought from the pet store and I went on tour soon after that? Yea well you never fed him and so he died. You forget to do things what makes you think you wouldn’t forget to feed a puppy,”

“Dogs are bigger, that’s why I wouldn’t forget. They ask for food fish don’t.” You defended your self as best you could. Probably wasn’t enough to convince him but for now, it’ll do.

///

A few beers in and a couple questions later you find yourself a little too drunk for comfort. You weren’t supposed to get this fucked up tonight but you were having too much fun to care. Being with him was fun. You both even forgot the whole ‘honest game’ thing because you just wanted to conversate now. You didn’t mind and from the looks of it, he didn’t either. As drunk as Yoongi was, you knew you’d have no choice but to let him stay the night. At this point sleeping in the same bed together did not sound like such a bad idea anymore. You’d be damned if you had to sleep on that couch. 

“You’re staying the night, you know that, right? I can’t let you go out in public like... this,” you gesture your hand up and down to show Yoongi just how much of a mess he looks.

He grunts at you, too far gone to speak or maybe just too lazy to speak. 

“You really are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen,” Yoongi tells you, a little slurred but he was able to get it out.

“That might be the first time I’ve ever heard you say that.”

“I should have told you that more but...look at me while I’m talking to you Y/n,” Yoongi grabs ahold of your chin and looks you right in your eyes. You were so close to his face you could smell his cologne, he smelled of sandalwood with a hint of mint. The soju he’d been drinking all night was the most prominent smell but you didn’t mind. 

You forgot how soft his face was. How gorgeous his eyes were. You could feel yourself being pulled in by him, slowly. 

You couldn’t find it in yourself to care that Yoongi might be staying the night for a completely different reason than before. 

to be continued���

masterlist

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

Chapter 7 – Stalking? No, slut dads who slutted each other.

A well-meaning friend gave me a book series that is hilariously bad. The first book was Souless and my riffs were entitled brainless. This second book is entitled Changless and these riff are then gormless.

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

The story is SUPPOSED TO be about how a badass lady wearing a rad-looking carriage dress hits baddies with her umbrella and bangs her hot werewolf husband.  In reality it’s mostly poor attempts at being witty, flirty, and superior.

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

This story is set in supernatural Victorian steampunk England.  Alexia is our NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protag.  She is a soulless, which means she’s able to negate the abilities of vampires and werewolves by touching them. She’s recently married a big oaf, named Lord Connel Maccon.  He’s the manchild in charge of the supernatural police with a zillion dollars and he’s totes super hot too ok.  Their relationship is mostly arguments about how Maccon can’t tell her fucking anything.  Alexia has also recently become head of ~Soulless affairs~ in Queen Victoria’s government.  She has a dumb friend named Ivy, a gay vampire friend named Akeldama, a family who’s evil because they do the same shit as her but while being blonde, and most importantly Alexia is better than everyone cause…cause.

Last time on Gormless:

There’s some mysterious force that’s turning the Vampires and werewolves into humans. Alexia is in charge of figuring out that deal, and she is doing a bad job at it.  Her husband is in charge of the Supernatrual Police (BUR) so he’s going to Scotland about it.

Alexia is also going north to help her husband with a crew crafted for a comedy. and oh boy I can’ts wait.

Chapter 7 – Stalking? No, slut dads who slutted each other.

Tunstell has been poisoned! So Alexia and LeFoux tell him to puke.  Ivy gets really offended that they asked him to puke.  Like it was actually kinda shocking how nasty Ivy gets about this. Ivy insults Alexia, and laughs condescendingly while saying it’s just regular old food poisoning.  Like that’s pretty fucking cold Ivy damn.

I know this is supposed to be a comedy of ~manners~ this hubbub is because it’s gross and ~untoward.~  But a secret part of me wants to believe that Ivy is pissed at Tunstell for giving her feels and wants him to suffer.  

Also I love how Alexia and LeFoux just TELL him to puke, and when Tunstell is like…what? How? They’re like you’re an actor just puke wtf do we have to explain everything to you?????? But eventually they concede, he takes some ipecac, barfs, and doesn’t die.  Ivy was fluttering around him all a tizzy over this incident.  A part of me is like, why didn’t they just leave Ivy and Tunstell alone here to sort out some shit?  But I mean, Ivy seems salty enough to allow him to be in horrible pain. If they weren’t careful she was going to pull a fake eggplant off of her ugly hat and suffocate him with it.

LeFoux gets fed up with all of Ivy’s tittering so she gives her a bit of Cognac.  She takes what are described as two nips. So I was picturing itty-bitty sips, and Ivy immediately becomes blitz out of her fucking mind. I’m not exaggerating, 2 sentences after the nips, she’s staggering in zig-zags. She bumps into doors, spills drinks, and giggles like a mad woman.  I haven’t had cognac before but like….REALLY?  To me, they might as well have written, “Ivy was within 15 feet of an alcoholic beverage, so she’s sloshed.  She starts laugh-crying while singing Danny Boy incoherently and trying to give Tunstell a handy under the table…but it wasn’t Tunstell it was just an empty chair.  Which was actually lucky for Tunstell cause at this point she couldn’t do more than just play bloody knuckles with his nut-sack anyway.”

But anyway Ivy and Tunstell retire to their rooms and Alexia and LeFoux go to have a chat on the deck. Alexia is like, “Why would anybody want to poison Tunstell it makes no sense!”  To which LeFoux, with more patience than I could ever muster, points out Tunstell ate HER meal.  Alexia has a moment before she’s like, “Oh yeah, people are always trying to kill me.” LeFoux is a bit flummoxed that Alexia seems pretty chill and incurious about almost being murdered.  Alexia continues this track of being an intellectual giant by asking LeFoux if she’s a spy or assassin out to get her.

She, of course denies it, by saying she could have easily killed her earlier cause gosh what a badass she is.  But like what the hell Alexia!? All you did was alert LeFoux to your distrust of her. What were you hoping is going to happen by asking that question? Denying it is hardly going to prove one way or the other, were you hoping you’d get,

“Yes! KER-STAB! U DEAD!”

Yet it’s almost as if her wish came true because a mysterious figure shoves Alexia off the deck, to meet her doom splattered on the English Countryside.

NO this isn’t where the chapter ends. Here we are 4 pages in and we have a much better cliff-hanger than TUNSTELL DUN BE POISONED!

Unluckily for us Alexia’s descent is cut short because a random protuberance on the dirigible catches her dress and she hangs on for dear life while LeFoux fights for hers against the mysterious shoving assassin.  

But just as you were getting caught up in the action, a port-hole opens near Alexia to reveal the still hammered Ivy.  We have a very appropriate bit of comic relief where Ivy slurs out how extra it is of Alexia to be climbing around on the outside of the dirigible.  Which, to be fair, I wouldn’t put it past her.  But eventually LeFoux scares off the attacker and they rescue her.  The attacker was wearing a mask so we CAN’T SAY who it could possibly be.  I bet it’s Angelique.

However LeFoux goes back to Alexia’s room with her, and Alexia sees she got a scratch on her neck from the fight.  So she takes off LeFoux’s cravat and cleans it up.  It’s very intimate.

Gotta be honest, I am so here for the lesbian flirting.  I think fewer people should be flirting with Alexia, but I hardly care at this point. I’m happy that this book isn’t afraid to throw a masc-presenting lesbian love interest.  I mean, this is perhaps quite a low bar since modern romance novels don’t tend to be homophobic, but I appreciate a stronger inclusion regardless.

But as she’s doing so she spies a tattoo on her neck of that OCTOPUS SYMBOL!  YANNO THE HYPOCRAS CLUB THAT TRIED TO KILL HER, HER HUSBAND, AND THE TOKEN GAY MAN LAST BOOK! OH NO!  But Alexia pretends she didn’t see it.  She asks LeFoux why she’s following her around.  LeFoux is all like, “Oh GOSH I WISH I COULD TELL YOU BUT I CANNOT! I AM MYSTERIOUS!” I really hate this cop-out, and I particularly hate this one cause I can already taste it now…the reason she can’t tell Alexia is for a really dumb reason that would cause 0 damage if she told her right now. (Also going back and editing this after I finished the book, I was right. SHOCK!)  It’s also kinda infuriating cause Alexia (rightly so for once) is like, “Just tell me!”  To which LeFoux rolls her eyes and is like, “Oh you soulless are always so annoyingly logical.”

HEY LISTEN GIRL, PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO KILL HER ALL THE TIME, IT’S NOT FUCKING ~DISPASSIONATE~ OF HER TO BE DISTRUSTFUL FOR CHRISTS SAKES! UGH!

In order to appease Alexia’s outrageous line of questioning, LeFoux barfs out some totally unrelated backstory. She was an illegitimate child from a slutty dude who died soon after she was born.  She was raised by her aunt. As a child she met a man who used to be gay lovers with her dad. TURNS OUT THAT RANDOM MAN IS ALEXIA’S FATHER! WOW!  What does that have to do with her following Alexia around like a dog trying to hump her leg?

BEATS THE HELL OUT OF ME!

But Alexia is swayed with that and they part ways.

Say something nice Faps:

It’s getting even gayer up in here. Seriously Alexia, if you were seriously considering getting deep-dicked by Douche-canoe, douche canoe, of the dickwad douche canoes you better be considering this.

In particular I like the idea that Alexia’s father was openly bisexual. In part because she describes him as basically down for any person who wanted to fuck him. I am the kind of slutty stereotypical bisexual that relates to that.  Also the more gay characters the better my friend.

I mean, I’m not super happy with the direction they continuously drag Ivy’s character but it’s at least it’s more of a personality.  And I’ll take the comic relief, even if it isn’t good.